yeah

So the gang, plus some guest stars, are raiding this monkey camp to take a wand back from them.

oh man, guess who got the ability to shapeshift into small elementals at will at level 6

ooooh

Only the leader's gone and used the bloody thing.

is it Harika?

Now he's transformed into a hideous hydra-like creature.

yeah it's totally harika

sweet

You count about 10 heads in total. Some are draconic, as you'd expect of a hydra, while others are monkey heads. There's even one turtle head? Weird.

where did that come from

the leader's last lunch

The colour of it's scales are haphazard, boils cover parts of it.
It's all messed up, man.
Let's start the music.

oh dear
well thats a remix

And roll initiative.
rolling 1d20+1 = 20+1 = 21

Manu Palila:	Initiative
Check:
10.07

Harika Atesh:	Initiative
Check:
19.01

manu please

Takaanu:	Initiative
Check:
28.08

bird is at maximum velocity

i'll just kinda hang back here then

yeah wow, i thought the hydra was going first but now its you
shame you're nowhere to be found

oh well

that roll should at least get him inside the building :P

I'm all the way over here

nah hes gotta run

to the west

oh

what's in these barrels?

good luck matey

Lux:	Initiative
Check:
19

its potatoes

well thats a close one
19 v 19.01

potatoes?
what cultivar?

i dunno. red.

cool, I'll sack some
good food
a bag or potatoes

s'yams

streak i dont think you looped the track

woops.
Right then, we can begin!
Taka, you've outrun the monkeys, and find yourself at the side of the keep.

I get some potatoes
as my standard action

You hear a commotion in the camp, a cacophany of roars?

oh
hmm

You have potatoes.

tfw you cannot know what's gone down so have no reason to hurry

okay good
its funny because I can use the potatoes like shuriken
right so

(hes not kidding)

Did I mention? These are Fire Potatoes.

oh cool

No, no they're not.

aw

Takaanu:	Acrobatics
Check
15
+6 to jumps

Takaanu:	Acrobatics
Check
21
+6 to jumps

over the wall

they're actually thunderspuds

Up you are.

that's my turn

The beast roars its heads in unison, except for one of the monkey heads, which is babbling in Giant.

"Oh, oh dear."

It translates to 'kill kill kill'

Good thing I'm back here.

maybe cut that one off first

"I did NOT sign up for this!"

At least, you think so. The dialect is tricky.

"I knew I should've learned Hill Giant instead of Mountain Giant."

It moves towards you and some of the heads lash out at various peoples.
So two are gonna snap at Manu...

"Why hello there- OH SHELYN WHY"

rolling 1d20+11 = 15+11 = 26
rolling 1d20+11 = 10+11 = 21

Both hit.

these are some strong heads

(that is significantly stronger than a normal hydra)

rolling 2d8+2 = 3+5+2 = 10

... interesting.

Two more attack the monkey.

the truest of forms

rolling 1d20+11 = 1+11 = 12
rolling 1d20+11 = 5+11 = 16

of course it'd hold back for the monkey

To-hit is higher, damage is lower, I think.

gotta get through our AC

Coulda sworn hydras hit harder.
Either way...

One goes for Kahena...

"MY FACE"

rolling 1d20+11 = 17+11 = 28
rolling 2d8+2 = 1+6+2 = 9
er.
2 damage.

2?
I think you mean 3.

I rolled two hits instead of 1

Oh, I see.
+1, yes.

Anyway that's its turn, it's not too active at the moment it seems.

I imagine so.
Harika, go dance!

you got it!

shake the hips of destiny1

Better not.

rolling 2d6 = 1+4 = 5

god damn it shift key

You're moving out of it's range.

it's a 5-foot
so it's okay, right?

Ah, okay then.

I can't Move and Dance
gotta shuffle
also that was a terrible roll
regardless, 5hp to all of you

Appreciated.

I wish I were there for that

Oh, you'll be fine.

currently at 17/33 health

Lux:	Knowledge (Arcana)
Check
24

I guess I can Nature this guy, but it doesn't seem particularly natural.

Lux immediately recognises that this is a magical creature. A hydra variant, and it seems pretty close to the real thing. If you cut off a head, two more will replace it in a short time.
It's life force is tied to the number of heads it has, the more it has the stronger it is.

Normal Lernaean mechanics, got it.

I see its gimmick now
more heads, stronger attacks
not just more attacks
so that is a tad dangerous

"augh, so what do we do?!"

Well I sure won't be sundering any heads, I'll leave that to Kahena.

which one of these weapons is slashy...

... are bites piercing attacks?
I guess they are.

yeah

bites are usually all three

nah, bites are usually listed as only piercing damage
at least for companions

you sure?

yep

I could swear it was p/b/s

I understand your logic
but slashing is usually the realm of Gores and Claws

Lux:	Thutmose
Attack
27vs AC
Damage
8
2nd Attack
18vs AC
Damage
10
Type:
S
Melee Notes:	Power Attack:
-2 to hit, +6 to damage
Weapon Notes:	Bardiche; brace, reach

I htink that's right...

Nope, bites are B/P/S.

really?

hah!

well I was mistaken
I yield to the dancing lady

He's gonna use Smite Magic as well.

Gores in fact are only P.

So that's two hits.

what about with the blades?
i'll check

I mean, blades are slashing.
Because sword.

I'm surprised you can't Pierce with a longsword
that's kind of the purpose of their design
slash and pierce

you can but it's awkward

Manu's up.

Oh dear, uh.

it really isn't awkward

So first I have to figure out where I'm going.

if you need more precision just half-sword it

I don't want to be here very much.

escapay
has a head been severed yet?

Lux did a normal attack, not a sunder.
So no.

huh

Correct. He damaged the body.

I can either run and tank the aoo so I can cast a spell, or I can just full retreat.

good thing these guys don't grow more bodies

i was gonna ask how you know when the heads' hp is low enough to cut them

You don't, they usually have like 5 hp each or something.

they're absurdly fragile

oof

Gotta sunder them individually and then do an equal amount of fire/acid damage.

they want to be cut off

i suppose that is true

I'm gonna tank an aoo and actually activate Wild Shape.

rolling 1d20+11 = 16+11 = 27

Gimme that damage.

rolling 1d8+1 = 5+1 = 6

damage on a silver platter

I turn into a small fire elemental for the next 6 minutes.
And that's my turn, so now I'll have Kahena try a sunder attack.

how long do we have until a head grows back?

Not long.

that is my worry, because you won't get to act again until after the hydra goes

As in, "I'm starting off in fire form for a reason, not long."

yeah we're kinda split up

Streak I assume you know the hydra's CMD?

I do.

rolling d20+11 = 5+11 = 16

good luck!
oh noooo

Oof.

Yeah no

Rats.
Well, that's my turn.

get the owl out of the way maybe?

what were you doin' choking it?

Wait, is that how sunders work for hydra heads...?

Yeah, Akamai will full retreat.

Hmm

into the wall

I imagine the heads have the same CMD as the hydra.
I'm done, Taka can go.

here we go

Hmm, sure is.
Good luck with -that-.

how many apes are left in the camp?
can I just blitz my way to the main building?

run as fast as you can

Well, you can see them milling around, they seem scattered though.

doubletime

right
I hop down

glide even
or no

I mean
its 10 feet

you're faster runnin

I am not in danger of fall damage

if this were breath of th wild it'd be different

If it were BOTW he'd have stasised a barrel and ridden it there.

can I double move?

By the way Taka, how's your HP?

17/33

Righto.

With a FRA, you can triple move.

Man, you're squishy, huh.

I dropped down though

Ah.

just a bit yes
squish birb

We're all AC tanks.
None of us have great hp, I think.
Except probably Lux.

do I have all my actions?

You did a hop, so not quite.

I'll double move

Alright then.
Takaanu zooms by a confused monkey

Let's see...

yo streak are the NPCs not in this fight?

Oh god
I just realised.

' 3'

Rewind.

add em in

"Bark!"

(my ac is 24 while in fire guy form, fyi)

sir corgus will not stand for this line-skipping

"The wand! This monster's eaten it!"
Hup.

"...which head?"
"please don't say the turtle"

I really never ironed their stats out so well...
Let's make something reasonable up.
rolling 1d20+11 = 17+11 = 28

goodness that's good BAB

rolling 1d8+4 = 7+4 = 11

rolling 1d20+8 = 8+8 = 16
Not quite.
Sure hope I remember those numbers next round.

write them down!!

okay FINE
Monster time
How about 2 for everyone except Manu and Kahena...
rolling 1d20+11 = 14+11 = 25
rolling 1d20+11 = 16+11 = 27
Oh corgus...

rolling 1d8+1 = 7+1 = 8
rolling 1d8+1 = 2+1 = 3
rolling 1d20+11 = 4+11 = 15
rolling 1d20+11 = 3+11 = 14
Athard's fine...
rolling 1d20+11 = 16+11 = 27

rolling 1d20+11 = 11+11 = 22
rolling 1d8+1 = 6+1 = 7
rolling 1d8+1 = 1+1 = 2

gold star for effort

rolling 1d20+11 = 10+11 = 21
rolling 1d20+11 = 6+11 = 17
Not even gonna roll.

swallowed whole

And now one for Kahena and Manu
rolling 1d20+11 = 11+11 = 22
rolling 1d20+11 = 6+11 = 17
In that order.
Manu's fine.
And so is Kahena.

Yep!

Hey having 10 attacks sure is fun to roll!

I'm still dancin'

What was I thinking!!

dance dance revolution

rolling 2d6 = 2+3 = 5
god darnit

Where did you get all the extra attacks, anyway?
Didn't you do 5 the first time?

8 heads, probably some claws or slams

Yeah, some heads just didn't attack.

Gotcha.

And it has 10 heads.

oh
oh
we're in it for the long haul, boys
and girls

Not really.

10 heads need to be severed
I think

If I remember right, you don't actually have to take out the heads to kill a hydra.

That is correct.

really??

It still has a HP value.

They just provide it with fast healing and extra attacks.

it just makes it easier

the myths lied to me

So we can still just nuke it to death, cutting heads just makes our lives much easier.

Lux charges his weapon with Fire and goes for the sunder.

Lux:	CMB
Check:
25

next turn remind me to use tembo
he's just sitting here quaking in his nonexistent boots

Yeesh, just made it.

hooray!

I think I roll damage now..

CMDs are stupidly high

Yep.
Just roll normal weapon damage.

hope for a good roll

rolling 1d10+4 = 9+4 = 13
Bam!

nice
was it enough fire damage?

One sec, I have to check that.

(i think it was)

how much of the damage is fire
that Lux just did
or has that not been rolled yet

I'm trying to figure that out.
"1 point from arcane reservoir to enchant his current weapon" is all he wrote

Yeah, you put flaming burst on.
That's just an extra 1d6 fire damage.

oh dear

ah, then lets roll that.

Which, in that case, may not actually be enough.

rolling 1d6 = 1 = 1

Yep.

uh oh
manu save our souls

A head drops to the ground.
The wound is slightly burned.
For refernece, it needs 4 more to be sealed.

go manu
use your fiery...fists?
elementals don't really have a form

Right, good thing burning stumps is a touch attack, my to-hit is terrible.

that's an awfully specific thing to know

Drufle knows All

Look, when you read enough bestiaries, you learn a few things.

fair enough

And I've read all of them!

he's a beastologist

there is logical sense to that too

rolling d20+8 = 20+8 = 28

you don't need to overcome any a- well then

oh

rolling d20+8 = 13+8 = 21

WELL THEN
crit is locked and loaded

I'm going to assume a 21 hits its touch AC, so...
Tap the stump!
rolling 2d4+2 = 4+4+2 = 10
Yikes.

yeeaaaah

You sear the stump and the room smells like steak now.

delicious

It's sealed up.

yayy

Also, the Hydra needs to make a reflex save quick.

rolling 1d20+10 = 15+10 = 25

Yeah he's fine.
Wait!
I have animals!

Then it's Kahena

I guess... more sunder attempts?

Go for it.

Actually, first off.
Dire Collar!

you should buy some pompoms for akamai

it is a Dire Kahena

bomf

Sunder attempt!
rolling d20+13 = 11+13 = 24

So close...

Shame.

At least you're big now.

Should probably just go for the throat, then.
Akamai will hoot in support.
I'm done.

sundering IS going for the throat!

A little lower on the throat.
Takaanu rushes in

"I AM HERE"

"OH HI TAKA HOW YOU DOIN"
Harika Atesh is rather stressed

question, can I use shuriken as a dirty trick?
"OKAY"
"MONKEYS GOT LOST IN FOREST"

I don't think so?

"fine great yes good great. now HELP"

I thought it was a melee thing.

it is
right
"How help?"
"What is that?"
"Fire?"

"yes fire
"

"Thinking fire"
I pull out a molotov

"lots of fire please!"

"Got fire"
"Need light"

"I can light it!"

"(What manner of vandal...)"

I'm guessing I burned all my actions getting in here and pulling out the molotov

yeah

okay
well I got it out so its a lot simpler to throw it now
"Good, you light it, I throw it"

Athard definitely feels less of Takaanu at this point.

"It is regenerating it's strength with every passing moment, we must continue to sever these heads."

The bird shows up and his first response is to reflexively pull out a firebomb.

it's practical!

I am a simple bird

rolling 1d20+11 = 3+11 = 14

I see a monster, I pull out a firebomb

rolling 1d20+8 = 10+8 = 18

No good!
What a big, weird dog that just showed up.
Four attacks to the big one.
[1d20+11] = 15+11 = 26[1d20+11] = 5+11 = 16[1d20+11] = 13+11 = 24[1d20+11] = 14+11 = 25

3 hits.

[1d8+1] = 3+1 = 4[1d8+1] = 2+1 = 3[1d8+1] = 2+1 = 3

(note to self: activate DR next turn)

:b
i was gonna say

gah! I don't have an Oil of Shield

It's not a class feature or anything so I often forget I have it.

Two for Manu...

I don't think Mage Armor will help Kahena

[1d20+11] = 13+11 = 24[1d20+11] = 18+11 = 29

Both hits.
And no it won't, Kahena is wearing armor already.

[1d8+1] = 4+1 = 5[1d8+1] = 1+1 = 2

yeah...
I've got so much Mage Armor is kinda of silly

Now one for Lux
rolling 1d20+11 = 15+11 = 26
rolling 1d8+1 = 6+1 = 7
You know what I havent been giving him the heals, woops.
He goes up in HP instead, retroactively.

ah yes

rolling 1d20+11 = 5+11 = 16
Athard's fine...

causality rewrite

[1d20+11] = 4+11 = 15[1d20+11] = 7+11 = 18
And so is Corgi.

it only has 9 attacks now,, surely

I'm a good GM.

:P

woops

You're right, it does.
Not that it changes anything this time.

yeah

He actually definitely still has a slam with the stump.
Totally.

light the molotov

NHNNHNHNHNHHGGGG

(dont forget tembo this turn)

gotta
save
everyone
heals
but fire!

yes, don't forget the elephant

I'm fine, Kahena is fine.

okay

also maintaining a performanace is a free action

it is?!

YES

Lux will be able to heal himself, as well, actually.

For regular bards, yes.

its only a big deal to start one

I'm not entirely sure that's the case for Harika.

yeah bards sing

I'll check quick.

I dance

bards can dance or sing
a lot of their performances rely on visuals

just some asshole dancing in the middle of a fight

Pavane is a FRA at all times.

bugger

yeah

Her other performances can be kept going for free, though.

which makes me wonder when that +10 land speed bonus will ever happen
with those I suppose

Distraction, Fascination, Suggestion.

if you don't light it I'll have to

anyway, I disengage pavane and cast spark on taka's molotov wick

thank youn

..how has it been 2 hours already?

somehow
and
tembo gets over himself

TRPGS are SCPs that devour time

Tembo:	Gore
Attack
16vs AC
Damage
7
Type:
P/S

no

the phant misses

It hasn't been 2 hours, it's been a bit over an hour.

oh right
different start time
at least on the merican end

b-but its 2am now

yeah

Is your DST change today?

yes

what the heck
ahhh

ohhhhhh

im so confused

Did you forget about that?

yese

clocks go forward

Usually at 1 am, yes.

well that unfucks my sense of time slightly
we gotta MOVE then

time is still fucked, but we'll roll with it

Lux:	CMB
Check:
15

I can just start nuking the hydra instead of cutting/burning, if you'd like.

the show must go on

I'm probably better at that anyway.

Lux:	CMB
Check:
17

Nope.

burn stumps as they appear
if there are none just light em up
have Kahena try a sunder

I should mention, actually, you can get multiple sunders in a round if you have more attacks.

I have a lit molotov and it has to go somewhere

That is actually true.
I'll just have Kahena go for hits, though.
His CMB isn't great.

gotta outpace that regen

what is the regen?

[1d20+12] = 3+12 = 15[1d20+11] = 19+11 = 30[1d20+11] = 14+11 = 25

also start DR

is it equal to the number of heads?

Fast healing equal to heads, usually.

that's right.

I might be able to slow that down

How many of those hit, streak?

Two.

Righto.
rolling 4d6+16 = 2+6+4+1+16 = 29

oof

Reflex saves, please.
Two of them.

rolling 1d20+10 = 19+10 = 29
rolling 1d20+10 = 18+10 = 28

He's fine.

god it's so high

well alright

He's so fast!
Now for actual Manu's turn.

hydras, man
light em up

I'm gonna just cast Call Lightning.
Casting defensively, of course.

you're a fire elemental though!
do fire things

I have Natural spell, it lets me cast magic normally while in Wild Shape.

ooh

I mean you being a non-human was not my issue with this

Also my attacks do d4 damage.

non-humanoid

plasma it up

I can do significantly more damage with magic.

alright
go ahead

I'll punch things when there are stumps to fry.

try to cast defensively

rolling d20+14 = 2+14 = 16
Oof.

oh

That is not enough.

ya'll gettin smacked

Alright, give me my aoo.

rolling 1d20+11 = 20+11 = 31

oh

rolling 1d20+11 = 18+11 = 29

but WHY

sigh

yikes.

oh dear

rolling 1d8+1 = 2+1 = 3
rolling 1d8+1 = 6+1 = 7

ouch
how're you doing, Manu?

I'm at like 40%

you have more health than I do I think
kay
right
we're doing okay

And finally, I activate Kahena's DR.
My turn is over.

okay
move action to retrieve another molotove
swift action to use the wick of the lit one to light the other one
standard action to throw the original molotov
I think I can do this

Takaanu:	Ranged Attack
Check:
19

this is probably a touch attack

Creative...
That hits.

okay

oh thank lord

its burning?
we never did figure out how much damage this does

(his touch ac is probably like 8, guys)

He's big.
rolling 2d6 = 4+6 = 10
That much, I guess.

that seems reasonable
it lingers I think

You must be running out of those by now though, right?

I've got
8 more

...Is that...how many I gave you?

yeah

What a fool.

I stocked up because
I didn't think I'd be able to get more

You did give him quite a lot, Streak.

It doesn't linger, though.

aw...
unfortunate

Yeah, lingering burn damage is very rare.

They're already quite absurd.

I'd be fine with 1 damage per round
but okay

"Bark..."

Rare in that they're, coincidentally, almost exclusive to fire elementals!

its more than what I'd normally be able to do

blasted fire elementals

"...yes, I think you're right."
"Ready yourself..."

combo attack?

"Eh?"

Athard and Corgus delay their actions.

combo attack?!
Harika Atesh is giddy

What a fangirl.

Athard shouts something really rude in Giant to the monkey head.
The heads turn.

gasp

Well, most of them.
Pounce!
This works like a charge
Do charges provoke attacks?

I don't think pounce does
you charge in, attack, and charge out again

That's not what pounce does.

that's spring attack

oh

pounce is a move then full attack

Pounce means you can move and full attack in a round.

i'm a good player

Pounce is terrifying.

spring attack is the lackluster ability
Pounce is the nightmare inducing one

There is a good reason Animal Companions are not allowed to have pounce.

players are very much not allowed to have it

[1d20+11] = 3+11 = 14[1d20+11] = 15+11 = 26[1d20+11] = 10+11 = 21[1d20+11] = 20+11 = 31[1d20+11] = 9+11 = 20[1d20+11] = 1+11 = 12[1d20+11] = 3+11 = 14[1d20+11] = 4+11 = 15

Well.
Eidolons can!
Not Animal buddies.

rolling 1d20+11 = 11+11 = 22

oh that's a lot of attacks

Nine heads indeed.

I think one of them didn't turn

rolling 4d6+4 = 2+1+5+4+4 = 16

One of them is distracted.
Who are all these attacks/damage against?

Athard.

Oh dear.
My dude!

I think he can take it
also he has some counter or something, probably
Harika Atesh is shocked and upset

He also takes the opportunity.

rolling 1d20+11 = 13+11 = 24
He pins a head to the ground.

nice

And Sir Corgus runs up it.
rolling 1d20+8 = 1+8 = 9

oh no

Whoops.

fell right off
sorry streak

He just kinda slips.

He's up there, though.

ummm

can't fail in cutscenes

I have a lit molotov

It's now grappled, technically, but that doesn't change much.

friendly fire is off it's fine

You're targetting a square so you can avoid hitting corgus.

well okay

"Taka, you can keep those lit yourself now right?"

"I think so"

"awesome"

"Do the magic dance"
"Good on my own"

"round 2! electric boogaloo!"
rolling 2d6 = 3+5 = 8
better
and as for tembo

Tembo:	CMB
Check:
20

close!

and

Tembo:	Slam
Attack
15vs AC
Damage
8

not so close
get better!

Lux:	CMB
Check:
12

Lux:	CMB
Check:
19

hnnnng

This sure is hard.

we need some heads falling off

It's almost like nobody ever uses CMs for a reason...

why are they so high??

size and stats
CMDs are horribly balanced

Because it's like 10+dex+str+size+ac+lots of other nonsense

it's simpler in 2e, right?

dodge and deflection ac applies for some reason

I don't know if 2e even has maneuvers.

What's ya action

[1d20+12] = 2+12 = 14[1d20+11] = 1+11 = 12[1d20+11] = 7+11 = 18
Kahena, please.

Those heads are keeping him at bay.
Snap snap.

Meanwhile I'm gonna walk away from this jerk so he stops interrupting my magic.

you need to get a ways away
"Where is druid?"
Manu Palila waves his tiny flaming arm.

tiny?
Manu Palila then casts Call Lightning.

"Manu is on fire??"

Well, I am Small.

Awww.

a small elemental?

Yeah.

So cute.

ok

it starts at small

Reflex save, please!

rolling 1d20+10 = 14+10 = 24

You rude boy.
rolling 3d6 = 4+6+6 = 16

"he turned into a fire sprite, Taka"

8 damage.

do you have anything that isn't a reflex save?

I'm done.
It's all mind-affecting stuff.

same song and dance
light a new molotov, throw a molotov

Takaanu:	Ranged Attack
Check:
9

screw up a molotov

I think hydras count as magical beasts and thus are immune to mind-affecting things.
Because animal stuff.

of course

Goodness me.
rolling 1d8 = 3 = 3

Good, streak looked up splash weapons.

what is 3?

Lucky for you, that still hits.

which way?
oh good

east, i think
or there

rolling 2d6 = 6+1 = 7

Three is due west.

buuuuurn
uh

Splash weapon failures start at south with 1 and go clockwise.

stream?
streak?

ah

Oh, I started top left
clockwise

I mean its random regardless

As long as you decided ahead of time, it's fine.
South/clockwise is just the regular convention.

Yeah, you get lucky, this time.

I mean
you should probably stick with this format
consistency

Funny enough, 9 would hit, if it werent a crit fail.

yeah...
I kinda figured

Let's see...
2 heads for Athard.
[1d20+11] = 3+11 = 14[1d20+11] = 15+11 = 26
rolling 1d8+1 = 6+1 = 7

how's Kahena's health looking?

He's basically at max.

2 for Corgus
[1d20+11] = 5+11 = 16[1d20+11] = 11+11 = 22
rolling 1d8+1 = 2+1 = 3

96.875% hp, specifically.

okay, cool

good for him

4 for Kahena
[1d20+11] = 5+11 = 16[1d20+11] = 5+11 = 16[1d20+11] = 13+11 = 24[1d20+11] = 8+11 = 19

taka you shoukd be at max now too

Manu is slightly less fine but is also out here.

I am not

One hit, Streak.

I was not here
for most of your pavene

rolling 1d8+1 = 7+1 = 8

well 8hpat least

Damage marked.

One more...
...No, I can't hit Tembo. It's too hard.
[1d20+11] = 3+11 = 14

:P

Miss Lux.

; 3;

Corgus attacks from his high ground, specifically going for the heads nearest his comrade.
rolling 1d20+8 = 8+8 = 16

corgus has the high ground

Not quite.

this battle is already won

"A distraction...! Brilliant!"
Athard leaps into the air.
[1d20+11] = 17+11 = 28
"Ow!"
rolling 18+1 = 18+1 = 19
erm.

rolling 1d8+1 = 6+1 = 7

did you just bang your head on the cieling

AoO

oh

He comes crashing back down onto his own spear, which is still pinning the head to the ground.

I'm glad someone is working competently around here.

rolling 1d8+4 = 1+4 = 5

Not a lot of damage, but the creature does shriek from the pain, and pulls the pinned head back violently.
If necks could tear, and this one is, this one is starting to tear.

That's just awful.

can I see this happening from where I am?

how many more rounds can you pavane?

15

Yes everyone saw Athard leap 30 feet into the air.
Dragoons, man.

I should hope so.

Bunch of showboaters.

I know, right?

how y'all doing for hp

Fine.

25/33

Manu will live.

Athard, Corgus I'm looking at you

I'm out of the line of fire so I'm probably fine though

Kahena is basically untouched.

They appear to be okay, having benifitted from your continued heals.

alright
so can I assume that
the torn head has a lowered CMB

(CMD)

that

Yes.

right

It's been pinned, so it's actually a good opportunity.

hmm

you can go for it if you want

it's probably better to let lux do it since he's there

That was my plan.

ok

what spells do you have?

several
but to remind me, an immediate action is a swift action that can be done on the enemy turn?

yes

I mean, turns other than your own

Yes.

right
ok so
I'll have harika user her elemental assault ability to give her sword 1d6 fire
as a swift

Okay.
You and Lux are fire sword pals now.

move and sunder

Harika Atesh:	CMB
Check:
18

oh well
tembo maybe

go tembo

Tembo:	CMB
Check:
8

Man, I'm glad the hydra isn't taking any AoOs against us for all these sunders.

you can - oh

....

Especially with rolls like that.

I'm aware, but we'll continue.

time saving measure

Granted he only gets 1 AoO per round, but still.

let's compensate. everyone take 50 damage

use it for that terrible terrible roll
ok

that evens it out right

Unless for some reason they gave the giant tank of a monster combat reflexes.
I can't imagine why they would do that.

they did.

Why!

Tembo:	Slam
Attack
26vs AC
Damage
8

heads

His dex score must be terrible!

he only gets one extra though

frustration attack!

Ah, 12/13, ok.
Fair.

That hits!

i'm done

"Lukhset! Strike now!"

Lux:	CMB
Check:
28

that's his name?!

Yes apparently.

of OF COURSE he gets a good roll now

Magical coincidences.

rolling 1d6 = 1 = 1

Or not.

how's Athard get his real name though?
that was fire damage

They had a nice chat.

he just knows

You did camp last night.

not a weapon roll
oh right
okay

Still gotta do 5 fire damage to stop a stump.

I'm on it

Which is why that 1 is less than incredible.

One head down.

two

One more I mean

ok

we're so bad at this...

Not really.

this is actually going very well for a boss fight

In pathfinder, you aren't really meant to do the head-chopping thing with hydras.

Thing is, it's not doing so hot now.

we want to rush it down?

it COULD have used some sort of acid burst
or shockwave
or black hole attack

Boringly, yes.

I'm just gonna start nuking away, yes.

alright
I

Speaking of which.

Chopping heads is more fun though, right?

[1d20+12] = 15+12 = 27[1d20+11] = 1+11 = 12[d20+11]

will throw this last molotov on my turn and move into position

yeah

[1d20+11] = 8+11 = 19

One hit.

Kahena, why must you do this to me.
rolling 3d6+12 = 4+5+6+12 = 27
Fair enough.

nom

Reflex save!

rolling 1d20+10 = 11+10 = 21

rolling 3d6 = 6+1+4 = 11
5 damage it is.
I'm done.

alright
I won't light a new molotov
I'll just throw what I got

Takaanu:	Ranged Attack
Check:
24

Splat

rolling 2d6 = 6+3 = 9

Pow.

that stump is out

It sure is.

I'm here now

oh good
Takaanu cracks his knuckles, which start to crackle

Okay, so, heads start to slump. The hydra has taken a lot of damage.

Athard removes his spear from the dead head, and goes for the heart.

"keep at it, this grossness is almost down!"

rolling 1d20+11 = 20+11 = 31
rolling 1d20+11 = 19+11 = 30

OOH

I'd call that a good shot

He hits the heart.

Good grief.

"Beast dead"

"oh. good!"

"Hey, that was my kill!"
Manu shouts in Ignan.
I don't think he can actually speak in Common right now.

Athard replies in Ignan.

"simmer down, man!"

"Cawhahaw"

"Well, my dinosaur's kill, but you know what I mean."

Corgus returns to his friend, concerned about their wounds.

"Where is wand?"

"oh shit yeah MEDIC HERE"
Manu Palila reverts back to elf/bird/angel form.

CMW up in this bizness

The beasts blood spills to the floor. A few heads lie scattered around.
And a silence fills the camp.

ooh, privatives

Taking a peek outside, it seems all the monkeys fled.
Takaanu starts looking for the wand in the chests

So we, like, own this tribe now, right?

"Need wand"

That's how it works?

"Or more monster happen"

Oh, whoops, they're gone.

"I'd really rather not own a troop of apes"

(you can shrink kahena now if you want)

Lux scans the beast for the wand with Detect Magic, and finds it in the neck of one of the heads.

"What is wrong with ape?"

Chop.
"Here."

"Oh, wand found"
"Hide wand, please"

"At last..."
Athard takes the wand.

have we unleashed a greater evil on this world

possibly

"Honestly, what a bother, splitting the wand in two like that."

no one succeeded a sense motive check on him

"If this mage wasn't paying me, I'd have words."

"Better than ape having all of wand"

oh wait he's a mercd
never mind

"At least the complete wand would have predicatable effects."
"What happened here was pretty horrible."

"you'd think they did it on purpose or something"

"At least we managed to end the poor thing's life."

"Bit of a monstrosity, truly."

"Bad monster"

"and what was up with this whole thing anyway?"
"aren't churr more like, forest dwellers?"

Athard reads a book.
While he does that, you all loot stuff.

MY CHEST

Ah crap, did I close the page...

D:

You get about 2000gp in gems and coins, and some other magic items.

Righto.

I'll refind those.

who's managing the bag
this time

I'm gonna go to bed for now, then.

or is streak just going to put them in
G'night Drufle

i'll bag if u want

Streak can put stuff in the treasure bag tomorrow if he likes.
It's suddenly very late for you two.

that is true
I'll shove the gold in

Alright, see y'all later.

"These beasts wanted to become more than they were. They trained themselves in the use of weaponry, and heard rumors of magic that could transform them into a higher being."
"At least, that's what I gather from these scrawlings."

gold added

"well then. neat intentions, poor execution"

"any other things?"

"Of course, you all saw. They were terrible at using weapons. Even worse at using magic."
"Should have just stayed as they were really..."
"I hope the rest of the tribe learned a lesson."

"Cannot blame for trying to become more"

"oh I dunno. given enough time I'm sure they'd get the hang of it!"

"Churr not well respected"

"I guess they lost any sense of morals as well, raiding caravans along the roads here."
"That would explain all this loot."
"You can all help yourself. My employer will pay me well enough."

(churr don't have morals at the best of times)

"Unfortunate way to go about it"

"I hope it suffices as reimbursement for your help."

"oh its fine! thank you for having us"

"May the wind carry you to fortune"

After looting and having a chat, the party return to the roads.
Athard and Sir Corgus travel with you to Kargarthr.
After another day of travel, you reach the city. It's pretty massive, and you're not even within it's massive walls yet.

"what an eyesore!"

big city time

From the outside, you see a grand tower in the middle. It's quite apparent that this city is run by wizards and the like.

"big"

"They love towers."
"It's a thing."

"Why towers?"

"Don't really get it."
"You have to climb all those stairs..."

"wizards need to feel taller than everyone else"
"inferiority complex, the lot of 'em"

"You said you were looking for someone here? You should be careful asking around."
"The center of town is a paradise, sure, if you have the money for it. But the outskirts are less friendly."

being a Tengu is going to bring issues for me

"stick with me, cawmrade, I know how urban living works"

"Crime is not uncommon. Guard your belongings and try not to draw attention."
Harika Atesh looks down at her clothes
Takaanu hides his necklace

"that's gonna be difficult"

"very"

"but I'm sure it'll be fine!"

"birds stand out"

"I am sorry that I have not heard of your friend, though, it would save you having to figure it out."

(I've forgotten what the main quest was)

(find a diviner)

damn sidequests

right

You got the name of a specific one, who claimed he was really good.
his name was....
..................
i forget
steve?
something like that.

Jeffrey Personas

Anyway, you part ways with Athard and the Sir.
Who knows if you'll meet again.

probably

They wish you luck.

somewhere over the rainbow

anyways I need to go eat dinner

big question
Takaanu says goodbye to Athard and Corgus

do we level up for this?

Good question.
Yes.

ok

sweet
yes
excellent

someone tell the others

aye-aye

see ya'll tomorrow

it does seem a bit quick given how long that last level took but we should move it along faster
anyway, noght
naght
neght...