The party have rested for the night, their rest assured by the presence of the sandmen that surround them. Now, they must awake and figure out what the fuck they're actually doing. Can they do both of these things?? We'll never find out. UNTIL NOW.

The Evil Saga! ~ Chapter 3: I Thought Hina Was The Nice One

Ezra:

"I think I shall wake up soon."

The Drufle:

Yes!

The Drufle:

It is now morning, and everyone can wake up whenever they wish.

Ezra:

"I have considered my options, and I will decide to wake up."

Tekton:

my eyeholes can receive light again

Ezra:

"I'm doing it now."

Tekton:

(not really)

Ezra:

"I'm waking up."

Tekton:

"No Ezra let's dream adventure"

The Drufle:

A small table has been set out in the room with various plates of food.

Ezra:

"I am already awake."

Tekton:

i still cant see shit

Ezra:

dang it boy

Ezra:

double click tekton over there

Ezra:

in the initiative queue

* Bernard Blackbrass is staring at the Square of Annihilation.

Tekton:

no it's the map

Tekton:

it's my internet

Golurk is disconnected.

Ezra:

what is wrong with it

Ezra:

welp

Golurk has connected.

The Drufle:

sigh

The Drufle:

seriously bro i cant clean up anything else

Hina Takahashi:

Hina shifts in her bed; it doesn't seem like she is in any hurry to get up.

Ezra:

"That's one of the more comfy rocks I've slept on."

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Reverie Reverie."

The Drufle:

Well, they did have rugs.

Asema:

"Ohhhh." With a groan, Jenna awakens. "Well, this is better than nothing, I suppose."

Ezra:

"Good morning to you also, too."

Golurk:

"Remember when we were immoral criminals"

Tekton:

woops impersonate

The Drufle:

(yes remember to do that)

Ezra:

"Well, there's no laws here, so technically we're saints as well."

Tekton:

grrr hoomans

Tekton:

"I'm gonna be the patron saint of illegal substances"

Tekton:

420 yolo

Hina Takahashi:

Hina slowly sits up and rubs her eyes. "Good morning, all of you."

* Bernard Blackbrass gets his greataxe wound up in a few practice swings.

Ezra:

"Food!"

Bernard Blackbrass:

"...???"

Tekton:

"Maybe she saw some mice"

Tekton:

"owl joke"

Hina Takahashi:

"Huh. . . food? Such good hospitality. . ."

Ezra:

"No, there's this small table of food here."

Sand King:

"Yes!"

Sand King:

"I hope you approve of our accomodations."

Tekton:

"Well I'm blind check your sight privilege"

Ezra:

"It's the king!"

Sand King:

"I've been told we make excellent hosts."

* Bernard Blackbrass quietly wanders off to look about.

Jenna Callahan:

"You make excellent hosts indeed! Thank you very much for your hospitality." Jenna gives a small bow.

Tekton:

"We make excellent parasites"

Hina Takahashi:

"You have not been lied to. These are very comfortable accomodations."

Sand King:

"I am very pleased to hear that."

Bernard Blackbrass:

Stealth Check At-Will • Dex (Armor Check Penalty) Roll: (GM Only)

* Sand King turns to Brass.

Tekton:

Fly Check At-Will • Dex (Armor Check Penalty) Roll: (GM Only)

Sand King:

"Excuse me sir, where are you going?"

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Out to hunt."

Sand King:

"Hunt? There is nothing to hunt."

Sand King:

"This is a desert, remember."

Ezra:

"He likes sand."

Bernard Blackbrass:

"I need a huge rock."

Sand King:

"... a rock?"

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Yeah a big long one."

* Sand King turns to Ezra.

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Spent all night looking around this place."

Sand King:

"Is this a tiefling thing?"

Golurk is disconnected.

Golurk has connected.

Ezra:

"Yeah, some of them are like that."

Bernard Blackbrass:

And the best I found

Bernard Blackbrass:

Craft Check At-Will • Int Roll: (GM Only)

Hina Takahashi:

Hina approaches the table, still looking sleepy-eyed, and kneels down.

Bernard Blackbrass:

made this crappy club.

Ezra:

"There's all sorts of crazy types..."

Sand King:

"I see, I see."

Sand King:

"Well, the entrance is being fixed at the moment."

Sand King:

"We had a bit of a cave-in earlier."

Sand King:

"But you're free to roam the rest of the caves if you so please."

Ezra:

"Wow, we must've been in a deep sleep."

Sand King:

"We are sandmen."

Sand King:

"We are very good at sleep."

Hina Takahashi:

"Thank you." He bows her head towards the Sand King.

The Drufle:

i

The Drufle:

what?

Hina Takahashi:

she

The Drufle:

yes ok

The Drufle:

i thought this was ellington all over again

Sand King:

"The entrance will be cleared shortly."

Sand King:

"Until then, make yourself at home."

Ezra:

"Say, Tekton, don't you want some food?"

Golurk:

"Just water me"

Ezra:

"Yeah sure."

Tekton:

grrr hoomans

Ezra:

"Is that enough?"

Tekton:

what went wrong

Tekton:

i dont think it's the internet anymore

Bernard Blackbrass:

(so this is as far as I could go before breaking collective.)

Tekton:

"Is there a skylight anywhere"

The Drufle:

Yes!

Ezra:

"You know, I once met this tiefling, he had a whistling umbilicus."

The Drufle:

I mentioned last time that there is a hole in the ceiling over to the left, with a sundial placed beneath it.

Hina Takahashi:

"Er. . . a what?"

* Tekton scoots over to the sunny part

Ezra:

"That was his fancy word for his belly button."

Ezra:

"Really pushy about it being called that."

Tekton:

"did it have lips"

Ezra:

"Well, I didn't really get a look."

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Blessed sun."

Hina Takahashi:

Hina raises an eyebrow. "I. . . er, understand?" She is already gathering food on her plate; it doesn't look like she is giving up this chancefor a good meal.

The Drufle:

It is normal food, by the way.

The Drufle:

Not like sand cakes or anything.

Tekton:

"Where do you get those"

Ezra:

"For the record, I don't eat mice. Maybe a giant rat."

Ezra:

"Well, I'm done."

Tekton:

"A rat in a hat"

Bernard Blackbrass:

mmm sand cakes

The Drufle:

The party hears a loud crashing sound from the entrance, and then a series of mumbling in Terran.

Ezra:

"Um."

Tekton:

gasp

Tekton:

partycrashers

Hina Takahashi:

"I was not exp- er, did all of you hear that?"

The Drufle:

(sandmen speak terran too guys)

Bernard Blackbrass:

(how do you use these?)

Bernard Blackbrass:

(in the dropbox)

Ezra:

I'm going to try and see what's happening secretly.

Hina Takahashi:

"Perhaps they are having trouble?"

The Drufle:

I have the pogs in a folder on my desktop

The Drufle:

And use them from there

Bernard Blackbrass:

I wanna download them!

The Drufle:

Ezra arrives at the entrance to find it totally clean!

The Drufle:

Sneaky: as long as you dont delete them

Ezra:

"That was quick."

Ezra:

"Didn't they say it was completely blocked just moments ago?"

Sand King:

"Yes!"

Sand King:

"My men are very efficient workers, you see."

Hina Takahashi:

"Amazing. Simply amazing."

Sand King:

"They are rather shy, though."

Ezra:

I'd like to activate my Deathwatch, by the way.

The Drufle:

Any particular reason?

Tekton:

plotholes

Ezra:

Well a guy kind of sneaked up on us last time.

The Drufle:

This is true.

The Drufle:

With your deathwatch you see exactly what's on the map.

The Drufle:

No more, no less.

The Drufle:

Well, Sand King is a bit fuzzy considering he's not wholly a living creature.

The Drufle:

But elementals, you know.

Bernard Blackbrass:

I do too.

Bernard Blackbrass:

I did that anyway.

Sand King:

"Now that the entrance is unblocked, your party is free to leave at any time!"

Bernard Blackbrass:

And I totally used Conceal Thoughts.

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Where are we..."

Ezra:

We are just all -about- the spellcasting today.

Tekton:

how long does it last

Sand King:

"In the lower Maloran desert, at the moment."

Ezra:

"Well, it might be nice to look around the cave anyway."

Sand King:

"Near the old ruins of the ancient ones."

Hina Takahashi:

"Oh, I see. . . I am not sure we even have a plan as for what to do next, however."

Sand King:

"I had figured as much."

Tekton:

wait how long was the break does this mean i get to replenish my spells

Ezra:

"Ancient ones. They sound very important."

The Drufle:

Golurk: yes

The Drufle:

You did sleep, so all spellcasters may refresh their lists.

Sand King:

"Well, they're all dead now."

Tekton:

grood

Sand King:

"So not so much anymore."

Ezra:

"That usually happens after a while."

Sand King:

"Unfortunately, yes."

Sand King:

"As for exploring the caves, I'd recommend against it."

Sand King:

"Considering how you've already seen all the solid-creature accessible portions of it."

Ezra:

"Ah."

Sand King:

"Well, I've offered as much as I can for the moment."

Sand King:

"If you have any other needs, please come back any time!"

Ezra:

"We'll be out soon, once we've figured out where we're going."

Hina Takahashi:

"We will definitely keep that in mind. But I feel you have done enough for us just by keeping us here for the night. . ."

* Sand King smiles and nods.

Sand King:

"Here, feathered one."

* Sand King places a necklace in Ezra's hand.

Sand King:

"You may use that amulet to point you in the direction of these caves."

Sand King:

"I hope it helps to guide you through the endless sands."

Ezra:

"This is incredibly useful, thank you."

Sand King:

"Well, I'm off then."

Sand King:

"Best of luck to the lot of you!"

* Sand King waves as he dissolves into the floor.

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Farewell!"

Hina Takahashi:

"Goodbye."

Hina Takahashi:

Upon the Sand King's departure, Hina returns to the table to finish her meal.

Ezra:

"Well, then. Let's go back and discuss what we're doing."

Hina Takahashi:

She appears to have quite the healthy appetite.

Tekton:

brb

Golurk is disconnected.

The Drufle:

Streak: for logistical sakes, the necklace he gave you is called the Amulet of the Dunes.

Ezra:

Got it

The Drufle:

So, what shall the party do next?

The Drufle:

There's only one way out of the caves, I should remind you.

Ezra:

"Any thoughts?"

Golurk has connected.

Hina Takahashi:

"Do we even know what is out there?"

Golurk:

"I can seeeee:

Golurk:

"

The Drufle:

The Drufle:

finally

Golurk:

It's a christmas miracle

The Drufle:

Golurk: the party is discussing their next plans.

Hina Takahashi:

"We have a general location, sure, but. . ."

Golurk:

"Let's kill everything on this continent"

Golurk:

"except the sand people"

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Do you /want/ to stay here?"

Ezra:

"We're trying to get off this island. Or I am, anyway."

Hina Takahashi:

"I don't think that is an option, Tekton. . ."

Hina Takahashi:

"But yes. Escaping Malor should be our main goal."

Golurk:

"Oh, right"

Tekton:

grrr hoomans

Ezra:

"We're in the lower reaches of the desert...so that means...we could really use a map."

Hina Takahashi:

"As nice as the sand people are, the lava shores and scorching sands are not exactly very fruitful."

Hina Takahashi:

"Where would we even go if we managed to find a way off of Malor? Civilization is a long journey by boat away."

Tekton:

"We needs trees."

Tekton:

"Or a dead whale"

Ezra:

"Anyone good at geography? What's the nearest landmass?2

Ezra:

Knowledge Geography Check At-Will • Int Roll: (GM Only)

Ezra:

That's not even a class skill so yeah

The Drufle:

I forgot there was a geo check.

The Drufle:

No, you didn't recall much of interest.

Ezra:

jenna has it

Hina Takahashi:

would Hina be able to just go "well a long way north is my homeand"

Ezra:

can i just

Only Jenna Callahan's owners can impersonate or run macros on it.

Ezra:

no i can't roll hers

Jenna Callahan:

I'll roll.

* Asema rolls: 1d20+4 => 15 + 4 = 19

The Drufle:

Better, yes.

The Drufle:

Jenna remembers that they are on the southernmost part of Malor.

The Drufle:

They have been brought in fairly far inland from Dead Man's Drop, in fact.

Jenna Callahan:

"Well, we're on the southernmost part of Malor. So, what do we know? We arrived here moving south, so we know central Malor isn't too ground, southern Malor has these ncie sandmen..."

Jenna Callahan:

"That means we should explore the rest of Malor, by direction. Now, did anyone bring a compass? I only brought my perfume."

Ezra:

"The king gave me this amulet. It points here at all times."

The Drufle:

As for the answer to Ezra's earlier question: the nearest major landmass besides Malor would probably be Kupanda.

Tekton:

"I have soap"

The Drufle:

But "close" is a relative term here.

Ezra:

Thank you voice from above.

Ezra:

"In any case, it's well known that Malor is far from any land. If we sailed out of here, we'd need a really good vessel."

Hina Takahashi:

"So we have an item that generally points somewhere to the south. . ."

Ezra:

"And how many boats come to Malor?"

Hina Takahashi:

"I wouldn't expect even a small longboat to be left behind for exiles to use."

Jenna Callahan:

"Only enough boats for 'immoral criminals like us', tee hee. But, you know, a good start might be finding a way to build our own boat."

Tekton:

"Can we... ambush one"

Jenna Callahan:

"I bet there's magic out there that could help us, so the solution is clearly: learn more magic!"

Jenna Callahan:

"That's easy enough, right?"

Tekton:

"But that would require waiting for another boat."

Hina Takahashi:

". . .do you think we can build a ocean-worthy ship by ourselves?"

Ezra:

"I don't know the first thing about shipbuilding. That's pirate stuff."

Jenna Callahan:

"Well, it seems like a good tentative plan. Maybe we'll find something wonderful elsewhere on Malor."

The Drufle:

To be fair, Brass does have a damn good Craft check.

Jenna Callahan:

"I wonder... do they have to execute shipbuilders who would be exiled? Otherwise, it seems like this whole plan wouldn't work!"

Tekton:

which craft

* Bernard Blackbrass just listens.

Ezra:

"The only thing we've heard of so far is that Temple of the Dead Unimportant Guys."

Jenna Callahan:

"Or maybe, there's a group of old exiles who selflessly build ships to return innocents to the mainland."

Hina Takahashi:

"I'm not sure if casting powerful enough magic would actually be any easier than building new ship. . ."

Hina Takahashi:

+a

Bernard Blackbrass:

"So, how many ships they /build/ in that case?"

Tekton:

"You can build a ship out of my corpses"

Ezra:

"That'd probably take a while."

Tekton:

"Is there a walk on water spell with a duration of forever"

Hina Takahashi:

". . .eh? Now that is just silly. . "

Hina Takahashi:

"The corpses, anyway."

Ezra:

"A more immediate worry. Where do we live?"

Ezra:

"This place is nice, but I don't see them letting us stay much longer."

Hina Takahashi:

"Perhaps there are encampments or something like that, of exiles much like ourselves."

Ezra:

"A good point. There might be other exiles somewhere."

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Are you sure they'll be safe?"

Ezra:

"They're criminals, so probably not."

Ezra:

"But then, so are we."

Hina Takahashi:

"There must be something about a land of certain death that brings even the worst together."

Jenna Callahan:

"Oh, who said it was certain? The very same people who wanted to 'punish' us. We'll be fine!"

Hina Takahashi:

"Right. Perhaps if there is a camp or town or something like that, the Sand King would know?"

Ezra:

"Perhaps we could take a look at this temple. If exiles were here before, they may have gone there afterwards."

Tekton:

"Mayhaps"

Ezra:

"It does seems to be the closest place of interest."

Tekton:

"Remember those horses up there"

Hina Takahashi:

"Yes, what of them?"

The Drufle:

(As a side note: you can call the Sand King to you anywhere there is sand by rotating the crystal on the Amulet of Dunes)

The Drufle:

(Time to arrive increases by distance, of course)

Tekton:

"Maybe we should go back for those"

Ezra:

"Hey, there's instructions on this amulet."

Ezra:

"Neat."

Hina Takahashi:

"Steal them, you mean?"

The Drufle:

(I forgot to mention that earlier sorry)

Ezra:

"We're not sure how far that place is. And they may not be so nice to us now that we've been told their true natures by these sandmen."

Tekton:

"Thanks voice from above"

Tekton:

"They don't know that"

Ezra:

"Well, they probably saw us get dragged away by them."

Tekton:

"hmhmm"

Tekton:

mhmhmmhmm, dears

Ezra:

"But yeah, taking them out would give us some nice gore stained stone huts."

Hina Takahashi:

"They did seem to fear the sand people, no?"

Ezra:

"And sweet horses."

Hina Takahashi:

"We would have to travel back to around where we landed. . . and who knows how far that is?"

Ezra:

"Perhaps their ability to invade their privacy is why they disliked them."

Tekton:

"How many were there... 15?"

The Drufle:

By the Sand King's last estimates, yes.

Tekton:

oh deer

Ezra:

"They're pretty spread out, oddly enough."

The Drufle:

He told you that last time, remember?

Hina Takahashi:

"I can't say I wouldn't like having a horse about, though. I was trained to fight on horseback. . . ."

Tekton:

wait do they live in those two huts

The Drufle:

Correct.

Ezra:

"Not all 15. They mentioned outposts, I think."

Ezra:

"So we might run into them wherever we go..."

The Drufle:

Also correct!

Ezra:

"There were only two horses, though, I don't think going back to steal them would help a lot."

Tekton:

"They can hold our stuff"

Ezra:

"Well, I -am- very weighed down by all this chalk."

Ezra:

"I'm practically giving it away just to lighten the load."

Ezra:

"Do you want some chalk, Tekton?"

Ezra:

"I think we should go to the temple."

The Drufle:

What does the rest of the party think?

Ezra:

I thought I disconnected there.

Hina Takahashi:

"The temple would be a good place to start."

Jenna Callahan:

"Whatever we do, it's progress! We're clearly not going to starve. I'm not, anyway -- I can get more done in a week than most people do in their lives."

Jenna Callahan:

"I think that's true of all of us, really. We're all great!"

Tekton:

"Temple adventuring. huzzah"

Hina Takahashi:

"Confident, I see. I suppose it won't hurt. . ."

Jenna Callahan:

"Of course I'm confident! I've seen you fight. With you protecting us, we'll all survive!"

Ezra:

"Assuming Luck isn't out for our blood, at least, I think we'll do fine."

Hina Takahashi:

"Wh- er, thank you. I wouldn't put so much faith in my abilities, though."

Tekton:

"The perky murderers are the scariest kind"

Hina Takahashi:

It looks like Jenna's compliment caught Hina flat footed.

Tekton:

hina/jenna otp

Jenna Callahan:

"I'm telling you, I didn't commit murder! It was self-defence! No one here is to be blamed." In Jenna's eyes, it could be taken to have been self-defence.

Ezra:

"Well, lets get ready to leave. We'll summon Sand King, and ask him where the temple is. And if anyone wants to ask him anything else, they can."

Jenna Callahan:

"We're just normal people in a bad situation! I am, at least, and so is Hina."

Hina Takahashi:

"Alright. . ."

The Drufle:

Upon approacthing the entrance, the party notices that a lot of sand has blown into the caves.

Tekton:

otp

Ezra:

"Hmm..."

Tekton:

Perception Check At-Will • Wis Roll: (GM Only)

The Drufle:

oh geez

The Drufle:

What are you looking for?

Tekton:

did i roll 90 again

Ezra:

Is it love

Tekton:

im looking for courage

Tekton:

and a heart

The Drufle:

er

Tekton:

and a spleen

Ezra:

Where's Bernie

The Drufle:

I'll just give you a description of whats going on with the sand instead.

Tekton:

just that entrance over there

Tekton:

yeah ok

The Drufle:

Tekton notices that the dunes outside the caves are lower than they were the last time the party was at the entrance.

Tekton:

also alert me if i find waldo

The Drufle:

Still high, but it seems that a lot of sand is being blown around outside.

Ezra:

"Is this one of those sandstorms?"

Ezra:

"That's...inconvienent."

You have disconnected.

Golurk has connected.

Satonakaja has connected.

The Drufle has connected.

Brass has connected.

Asema has connected.

Ezra:

Urp.

Tekton:

you're back

Tekton:

in pog form

Hina Takahashi:

"Let's wait until it stops before leaving, then."

Tekton:

this is the only situation where that sentence is appropriate

Sand King:

"O

Ezra:

omg i didn't even notice that

Sand King:

"I'm afraid waiting out the storm is a poor plan, friends."

Ezra:

Is he using weird smilies now

The Drufle:

No.

Tekton:

"O

The Drufle:

That was me hitting the wrong key.

Tekton:

flounder face

Tekton:

"

Ezra:

"What is this storm?"

Sand King:

"The sandstorms around here last for many days."

Sand King:

"It's a common sandstorm that occurs every month or so."

Tekton:

"Does anyone have go goggles"

Sand King:

"Things like this tend to happen in a desert."

Tekton:

"I bet it has a name"

Hina Takahashi:

"Then. . . our only choice is to press on through it. . ."

Sand King:

"Yes!"

Ezra:

"Is that temple close? We were going to go there."

Sand King:

"The temple? It's to the west a mile or so."

Sand King:

"The dunes make it hard to go straight, however."

Sand King:

"You'll have to find your way there on your own."

Tekton:

"greeaat"

Hina Takahashi:

"Hm. . . I have another question. Do you know if there are any parties or settlements of people who might possibly recieve as well?'

Sand King:

"Oh, I doubt it."

Sand King:

"Not anywhere near here, at least."

Sand King:

"The Oreads and us Sandmen are the only sentient creatures for miles."

Hina Takahashi:

"It was a long shot, I suppose. Ah well, we will manage. . ."

Ezra:

"What do others that have stayed here usually do?"

Sand King:

"Died, mostly."

Tekton:

maybe they can help us kill the oreads

Hina Takahashi:

dead

Ezra:

"I'd personally prefer to avoid that."

Tekton:

but i guess they're immune to sandstorm damage

Sand King:

"Yes, that would be preferable."

Tekton:

does anyone have lefovers

Sand King:

"Just try not to go south like the rest do."

Sand King:

"Bad things happen there."

Sand King:

"Althought the north is rather hostile as well..."

Sand King:

"Come to think of it, there isn't really a good direction, is there?"

Hina Takahashi:

"I doubt there are many places that aren't hostile."

Tekton:

"let's just curl up and die"

Ezra:

"Tekton. You have to believe in yourself!"

Sand King:

"I'm sorry that I can offer no more physical help, but I really must be leaving for a meeting."

Ezra:

"You must never give up. What would your plant friends think?"

Hina Takahashi:

"Yeah, er, let's not do that. I suppose the first thing we can try is going west to the ruins."

Ezra:

"You've helped us a great deal already. We'll not forget it."

Hina Takahashi:

"Understandable. Thank you for your help and hospitality." Hina bows once more to the Sand King. She's actually been doing that a lot. . .

The Drufle:

Well, the party is alone now.

The Drufle:

Are they ready to leave?

Tekton:

yes

Ezra:

"A meeting? I wonder what that's about..."

Tekton:

two hours

Ezra:

"It's a shame we'll never find out."

Hina Takahashi:

Yeah!

Jenna Callahan:

Yes indeed.

Tekton:

"Maybe he's a banker"

The Drufle:

Ezra hears the Sand King's voice from a crack in the ceiling above.

Sand King:

"It's real estate!"

Tekton:

"What does this mean for the economy", said the Sand King to the Sand Nerds

Ezra:

"!"

Tekton:

"this continent is full of fucking weirdos"

Ezra:

We take our first step outside

The Drufle:

So!

Ezra:

or tekton does

The Drufle:

Welcome to the horrible, horrible desert.

The Drufle:

Points of note:

The Drufle:

Do not touch the darker regions.

Tekton:

can i use my leftover perception infos over here

Ezra:

Um.

Hina Takahashi:

will they eat us

Ezra:

We're in a darker region.

The Drufle:

They are either dunes too tall to climb, or pits.

The Drufle:

Tekton: there's sand.

The Drufle:

A lot of it.

The Drufle:

Ezra: well, the more darker regions.

Hina Takahashi:

"This sand must go on for miles. . ."

Hina Takahashi:

"And we haven't any idea which way west is, do we?"

Tekton:

maybe there are wild pokemon in here

Ezra:

"Well, we can figure that out."

The Drufle:

Sigh.

The Drufle:

Anyone want to roll reflex to get Tekton out?

Hina Takahashi:

what

Ezra:

Drufle that aint dark

Asema is disconnected.

Asema is disconnected.

Ezra:

that's lighter

The Drufle:

Are you guys not seeing the difference?

Hina Takahashi:

i can see it

Ezra:

it's lighter than the rest...

The Drufle:

Really?

The Drufle:

That's unusual.

The Drufle:

Fine then, the lighter regions are bad.

Tekton:

oh was that quicksand

Tekton:

yeah false advertising

Hina Takahashi:

it IS lighter but it's noticable different

Hina Takahashi:

fromt he not-murder sand

The Drufle:

Whatever you see as this peachy stuff.

The Drufle:

That's bad or inaccessible.

Ezra:

"Careful, those darker regions are treachrous."

Ezra:

"And they look lighter from certain angles."

Tekton:

"dem mirages"

Ezra:

We need to figure out which way west is.

* Bernard Blackbrass inhales sharply.

Hina Takahashi:

clearly this way is west

The Drufle:

You'll also have to be wary of the sandstorms.

Ezra:

Could we use the sun?

Hina Takahashi:

oh yeah huh

The Drufle:

No, because sandstorms.

Hina Takahashi:

oh.

The Drufle:

I'm going to be rolling a d20 every five minutes.

Hina Takahashi:

fucking sand

Ezra:

We know this cave is on the southern reaches, but we don't know which way the cave entrance points.

The Drufle:

If it's 10 or less, you guys get to take a fort save.

Tekton:

oh good

* The Drufle rolls: d20 => 13

The Drufle:

Lucky you.

Ezra:

Can we at least try to look for the sun? Maybe we could see a brightness through the storm?

The Drufle:

There are two paths to take that the party can see.

The Drufle:

Neither seems any more "west" than the other.

The Drufle:

However, if everyone would make a perception roll.

Tekton:

Perception Check At-Will • Wis Roll: (GM Only)

Ezra:

wait so is west literally just to the left

The Drufle:

Is it?

Bernard Blackbrass:

Perception Check At-Will • Wis Roll: (GM Only)

Ezra:

well who knows

The Drufle:

oshit

Ezra:

Perception Check At-Will • Wis Roll: (GM Only)

The Drufle:

Stop rolling 20s I'm trying to make this interesting.

Hina Takahashi:

Perception Check At-Will • Wis Roll: (GM Only)

Bernard Blackbrass:

I'm falling asleep.

Hina Takahashi:

did asema disconnect

The Drufle:

Yes.

Ezra:

his token is frozen for me

The Drufle:

I as well.

Tekton:

time stop

Tekton:

someone reset the timeline

The Drufle:

Bernard hears what seems to be horses whinnying and shouting from the upper path, but the lower path is utterly silent.

Ezra:

is he still connected? you might need to kick him or something so he can reconnect

The Drufle:

No, he disconnected.

Tekton:

kick our the toohoo

Tekton:

*out

Tekton:

oh wait yeah

Tekton:

disconnected

Ezra:

"Horses probably means big stone people."

Tekton:

let's get a movin

Ezra:

"Sand King said they're the only others here."

Ezra:

"Let's go with the lower path."

Hina Takahashi:

"Right. And let's get moving quickly now!

* The Drufle rolls: d20 => 12

The Drufle:

Come on, let me sand some people.

Hina Takahashi:

its like the doomsday clock

Tekton:

"walking..."

Tekton:

"walking..."

Tekton:

"roleplaying walking"

The Drufle:

Another fork in the road!

Asema has connected.

Tekton:

do we have to them 30 at a time

The Drufle:

Do what?

Ezra:

Perception Check At-Will • Wis Roll: (GM Only)

Tekton:

steps

The Drufle:

No, you're fine.

Hina Takahashi:

"We are avoiding going that direction, so perhaps we should go further down this way?

Hina Takahashi:

Hina points there.

Tekton:

"didnt king sandy say not to go... south?"

The Drufle:

Asema: Jenna is back at the cave entrance.

Bernard Blackbrass:

We really should investigate the north path.

Tekton:

"let's split up, gang"

Bernard Blackbrass:

If there's horses, that means supplies we can take.

Tekton:

said everyone that died here

The Drufle:

Is Brass heading up?

Ezra:

"Let's scout a little north then. Quietly."

Hina Takahashi:

"Fair point."

Tekton:

"what horses are you talking about"

Ezra:

I meant up there way.

The Drufle:

Well, Brass apparently meant the other way.

Tekton:

asema is back

Tekton:

in toohoo form

Bernard Blackbrass:

"everyone stay within ten feet of each other."

Ezra:

Jenna, watch the lighter bits.

Ezra:

They're bad!!

Asema:

"Of course!"

Tekton:

"there arent any horses here"

Ezra:

"Perhaps I could scout?"

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Not too far ahead."

Hina Takahashi:

"Well, if we are charged at, we had best not be in a scattered formation."

Tekton:

"gee I sure hope we dont get ambushed in his desolate sandy location"

Bernard Blackbrass:

"I say stick close because we're near quicksand."

* The Drufle rolls: d20 => 1

The Drufle:

YES

The Drufle:

Alright everyone, make a fort save.

Tekton:

oh shit son

Tekton:

Fortitutde Save Fortitude Roll: « d20 + Fortitude = 2 + 5 = 7 »

Hina Takahashi:

Fortitutde Save Fortitude Roll: « d20 + Fortitude = 14 + 5 = 19 »

Tekton:

fff

Hina Takahashi:

WHY

Ezra:

"The storm's picking up...!"

Ezra:

Fortitutde Save Fortitude Roll: « d20 + Fortitude = 18 + 0 = 18 »

Bernard Blackbrass:

Fortitutde Save Fortitude Roll: « d20 + Fortitude = 14 + 3 = 17 »

Hina Takahashi:

how did I roll a ONE

Hina Takahashi:

I have +5

The Drufle:

You

Hina Takahashi:

oh well

The Drufle:

didn't?

Tekton:

???

* Asema rolls: 1d20+2 => 17 + 2 = 19

Hina Takahashi:

oh

Tekton:

you rolled 14

Hina Takahashi:

i couldn't see the rest of my thing

Tekton:

lel

The Drufle:

Well, Tekton is the only one that failed.

The Drufle:

Good for you!

Hina Takahashi:

text box was too small

The Drufle:

He takes

Bernard Blackbrass:

I eat his sand.

* The Drufle rolls: 1d4 => 4

The Drufle:

4 damage

Tekton:

what prize do i get

Tekton:

grood

Jenna Callahan:

Lethal, or non-lethal?

The Drufle:

and is stunned for a round.

Tekton:

what

Tekton:

!

The Drufle:

Lethal.

Tekton:

what kind of asshole sandstorm is this

The Drufle:

This is high-speed sand.

Ezra:

"Hey, you okay?"

Hina Takahashi:

holy dooly

Ezra:

"Up."

Hina Takahashi:

"Agh- the oreads were not joking!"

Tekton:

"well we are walking how do rounds work"

Bernard Blackbrass:

Tekton must really hate ecofriendly groups seeing as how the environment is after him.

Tekton:

er

Tekton:

out of quotes

Ezra:

You get back up in six seconds I guess

The Drufle:

A round is six seconds, so in non-combat it doesn't actually matter.

Hina Takahashi:

"These storms are brutal. . ."

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Tekton are you all right?"

Ezra:

"We must keep moving."

Tekton:

"My face holes have sand in them I guess"

The Drufle:

Oh wait

* Bernard Blackbrass gives a booming laugh. "Excellent."

The Drufle:

Sorry, I meant Staggered, not Stunned.

Tekton:

what does that mean

Bernard Blackbrass:

Standard or move.

Tekton:

for the economy

The Drufle:

Yes, you only get one action.

The Drufle:

Stunned is far worse.

The Drufle:

You take no actions, drop all weapons, and lose dex ac.

Ezra:

Perception Check At-Will • Wis Roll: (GM Only)

Hina Takahashi:

say do piecing weapons deal extra damage to horses

The Drufle:

So!

Ezra:

I look for THINGS.

The Drufle:

You see THINGS.

Bernard Blackbrass:

Those are big pogs.

Ezra:

Well that's just what I wanted.

Hina Takahashi:

". . .whoa."

Ezra:

Are those horses attached to the Oread?

Hina Takahashi:

what the hell is a solifugid

The Drufle:

They are not attached, no.

The Drufle:

Just reined.

The Drufle:

Also!

* The Drufle rolls: d20 => 17

The Drufle:

Drat.

Ezra:

That was 5 minutes?

The Drufle:

Would anyone like to nature roll about solifugids?

The Drufle:

Ezra: yes.

Bernard Blackbrass:

Knowledge Nature Check At-Will • Int Roll: (GM Only)

The Drufle:

You guys sat down and babied Tekton for about 3 minutes.

The Drufle:

STOP ROLLING 20S

Ezra:

This makes up for last time.

Tekton:

solifugids

The Drufle:

Well, fine.

Ezra:

And the time before that, with the crabs.

Tekton:

also called

Tekton:

camel spiders

Hina Takahashi:

what the FUCK

Ezra:

These pokemon can attack with their Hyper Beam!

The Drufle:

Bernard remembers that solifugids are large, arachnid-like creatures that are not actually spiders or scorpions.

Tekton:

also solifugids are a real animal btw

Hina Takahashi:

EW GROSS

Hina Takahashi:

GROSS

Hina Takahashi:

EW EW EW EW EW EW

Bernard Blackbrass:

what's a scorpion

Tekton:

yes

Tekton:

spawn them next to hina

Tekton:

8 of them

Hina Takahashi:

hina's not afraid of 8 legged things

Hina Takahashi:

i am

Tekton:

i cast mage armor

Agelthri:

"Who goes there!?"

Bernard Blackbrass:

Diplomacy Check At-Will • Cha Roll: (GM Only)

The Drufle:

The caravan grinds to a halt.

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Salutations!"

Tekton:

"hey ezra try circling around"

Tekton:

welp too late

Agelthri:

"Piss off, fleshling."

Agelthri:

"I have business to attend to."

Tekton:

"Is it real estate"

Agelthri:

"What? No."

Agelthri:

"Who would want real estate in this horrible place?"

* Bernard Blackbrass looks back to his associates with an eye raise. Not Tekton. Tekton is great.

Ezra:

"Sand is valuable to lots of people."

Hina Takahashi:

"I knew Oreads were not the most pleasant types, but. . . wow."

Jenna Callahan:

Oh, apologies! We don't mean to waste your time, truly!

* Asema rolls: 1d20+10 => 15 + 10 = 25

Ezra:

This group is very large.

Hina Takahashi:

DIPLOMACY

Tekton:

oh those are tiny genies

Agelthri:

"If you don't wish to waste my time, kindly step away from the wagon."

Tekton:

adorablo

The Drufle:

They are, kind of, tiny genies.

Hina Takahashi:

thats a huge wagon

Jenna Callahan:

Are the gemsteeds leaving any obvious hoofprints?

The Drufle:

They're currently flitting around his head, looking rather uncomfortable.

The Drufle:

Good question!

The Drufle:

They actually aren't.

Jenna Callahan:

And what about the motion of the caravan itself?

Bernard Blackbrass:

It's a giant black building?

The Drufle:

It seems to glide over the sand, the wheels more sliding on the sand than digging in.

Ezra:

No it's a beautifully crafted caravan

Ezra:

obviously

Tekton:

oh good magic wagon

The Drufle:

The wheels don't appear to be leaving much of a track either.

Tekton:

we totes need to steal this

Hina Takahashi:

And they have pet arachnids.

Hina Takahashi:

Wonderful.

Tekton:

we havent done anything evil ever

Hina Takahashi:

Let's kill them all.

Tekton:

wunderbar

Agelthri:

"Well, if the lot of you are done staring, I'll be off."

Tekton:

stop

Tekton:

hammertime

The Drufle:

(also i forgot the sandstorm roll so you get a free pass)

The Drufle:

The Oread sits back on the seat of the caravan and picks up the reins.

Ezra:

Well okay then

The Drufle:

Look, he's a busy man.

Ezra:

Let's go

The Drufle:

He's not going to bother fighting anything he doesn't have to!

Tekton:

so we arent gonna kill them all

Bernard Blackbrass:

Could we even take them?

Ezra:

I don't think its a wise move. But we really don't have time to talk about it

Tekton:

there are only 7 of them

Hina Takahashi:

if only

Bernard Blackbrass:

I count ten, really.

Hina Takahashi:

we had a giant fireball spell

The Drufle:

You only see a few arachnids and the oread, along with his zhyens.

Tekton:

who even has pet arachnids

Hina Takahashi:

do you count the giant horses

The Drufle:

No.

Bernard Blackbrass:

I have to.

Hina Takahashi:

that probably won't take part in combat

Tekton:

no???

The Drufle:

They would not fight along with them.

Tekton:

horses are dumb animals

Hina Takahashi:

also they're tied to the wagon

The Drufle:

Correct.

Tekton:

they dont have magic powers

* The Drufle rolls: d20 => 15

Tekton:

if we scare the horses

The Drufle:

Hrmph.

Hina Takahashi:

ruh oh

Tekton:

we can knock that rock guy off

Hina Takahashi:

the sand

Hina Takahashi:

is taunting us

Bernard Blackbrass:

Missive to Ezra, "Get a look in that wagon."

The Drufle:

I'm giving the party two minutes to make a decision, then the caravan is leaving.

Hina Takahashi:

20 more spiders

Bernard Blackbrass:

Then spend the six seconds recharging.

Hina Takahashi:

(honestly I'd say do it)

Ezra:

Stealth Check At-Will • Dex (Armor Check Penalty) Roll: (GM Only)

Tekton:

"spiders 4 sale"

The Drufle:

what

The Drufle:

another 20

Tekton:

circle around

Hina Takahashi:

hahahaahaaha

The Drufle:

fuck you guys seriously

The Drufle:

FINE

Ezra:

so do i get inside or what

Tekton:

all of the luck we didnt have in the earlier sessions

Bernard Blackbrass:

Missive to Tekton, "Get to the other side of the wagon.

The Drufle:

Ezra literally disappears into the sand and reappears inside the wagon.

Tekton:

wat

Tekton:

fookin ninjas

Ezra:

"Shit yeah."

Tekton:

holy shit

Bernard Blackbrass:

Recharge, missive to Jenna, "Get to the other side of the wagon with Tekton."

Hina Takahashi:

fookin ninjas

Tekton:

that's the wagon

The Drufle:

Now, I'm not bothering to draw this out.

Tekton:

???!!!

Tekton:

i thought

Tekton:

that was a building

The Drufle:

But inside the wagon is a ton of boxes.

The Drufle:

What?

The Drufle:

No!

Tekton:

jegus

The Drufle:

I mentioned it as a wagon so many times already.

Ezra:

Has he gone deaf now?

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Hina."

Tekton:

i didnt notice

The Drufle:

Also, there are no Oreads inside.

* Bernard Blackbrass looks at both Tekton and Jenna expectantly.

The Drufle:

Or arachinds.

The Drufle:

arachnids*

The Drufle:

Or anything alive, actually.

Ezra:

I'm going to go behind some boxes or whatever.

Jenna Callahan:

Jenna takes one small, coy step forward towards Bernard in affirmation.

The Drufle:

Alright.

Tekton:

let's do dis

Ezra:

Then I'll hold LT to pop out and RT to fire my chainsaw gun.

Agelthri:

"Excuse me, plant kid."

Agelthri:

"I've got places to go."

Tekton:

"Oh sorry, I'm just admiring those arachnids you have"

* Bernard Blackbrass clears his throat.

Hina Takahashi:

"Yes?"

Agelthri:

"They are wonderful, yes."

Bernard Blackbrass:

What language did myself and Ezra share?

Agelthri:

"Now get away or I'm trampling you."

Tekton:

"Are they your pets"

Ezra:

Either Infernal or Abyssal?

Bernard Blackbrass:

In Celestial, "Take Tekton, get on the other side, in their blind spot. Hina and I stay here."

Bernard Blackbrass:

Well whichever one, "Ezra, to the front!"

The Drufle:

Abyssal.

Bernard Blackbrass:

That's what I shout.

Hina Takahashi:

could ezra just push the dudes off

Agelthri:

"Yes, they are my pets."

Hina Takahashi:

or something

Agelthri:

"Now get out!"

Tekton:

"oh uh"

Bernard Blackbrass:

Now which one isn't a fuckin' elemental.

Tekton:

um

* Agelthri stands from his seat and pulls out a crossbow.

Hina Takahashi:

HE'S GOT A GUN

Tekton:

"your horse is on fire!"

* The Drufle rolls: d20 => 20

Ezra:

So everyone's just kind of standing where they were before?

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Mister, we mean no harm.

Ezra:

is that normal

Hina Takahashi:

"Er, Brass, it looks like things are escalating a bit too quickly here."

Tekton:

the sand crits

Agelthri:

"Gemsteeds do not catch on fire!"

Tekton:

killing us all

Hina Takahashi:

blatantlies.txt

Bernard Blackbrass:

Diplomacy Check At-Will • Cha Roll: (GM Only)

Tekton:

I cast Spark on the

Tekton:

reins?

Bernard Blackbrass:

Bluff Check At-Will • Cha Roll: (GM Only)

The Drufle:

Really?

Ezra:

Ezra is very happy to be sneaking again.

The Drufle:

Well, alright.

Bernard Blackbrass:

One of the two.

Tekton:

yes i don't know!

Ezra:

So happy she apparently crited it.

The Drufle:

Spark ignites the lower horse's reins and does literally nothing.

Bernard Blackbrass:

One to calm down and the other to flat out lie.

Tekton:

on the ropey thing

Tekton:

really

The Drufle:

Because they are made of a flexible metal.

The Drufle:

Because there is no rope in a fucking desert, kid.

Tekton:

can i cast spark on your hair, drufle

Tekton:

aw

Bernard Blackbrass:

"What are you doing?"

Agelthri:

"Alright, that's it."

Agelthri:

"Out of my way before I shoot the lot of you!"

Hina Takahashi:

"Oh, fantastic."

Ezra:

(Shh!)

Hina Takahashi:

SNEAK ATTACK

Tekton:

Hex Evil Eye The enemy is filled with dread. Penalty: Saving throws « DC = 15 »

* The Drufle rolls: d20+6 => 5 + 6 = 11

* The Drufle rolls: d20+6 => 18 + 6 = 24

Bernard Blackbrass:

"Ezra just take something and get out of there", I mumble aloud. However... with the sparks and such... it may be too late.