The Drufle has connected.
|
The Drufle:
|
although i guess it'd be morning for
you
|
|
The Drufle:
|
well not all of us
|
|
The Drufle:
|
only like half
|
|
Narseus:
|
i thought you were talking to narseus
|
|
Narseus:
|
no its night time here
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Acrobatics Check
|
At-Will • Dex (Armor Check Penalty)
Roll:
(GM Only)
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
okay so thats gm only
|
|
The Drufle:
|
we need to fix that
|
|
The Drufle:
|
because its quite silly
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i'll take a look!
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus thrusts the pointy end at 0
with the axe, getting a 17
to hit. If this hits, he deals 4
damage.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
okay i can see that
|
|
The Drufle:
|
yeah if you want to just use your old
macros
|
|
The Drufle:
|
go right ahead
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Acrobatics Check
|
At-Will • Dex (Armor Check Penalty)
Roll:
(GM Only) 22
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
and i can see that now
|
|
The Drufle:
|
it still says gm only
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
yeah, that's fixed text is all
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Initiative Check
|
|
Initiative Roll: « d20
+ Initiative = 4 + 2 = 6 »
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
uhm, in the roll thingy, it has
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
... :I
|
|
The Drufle:
|
budgie's macros appear to be broken
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Acrobatics Check
|
At-Will • Dex (Armor Check Penalty)
Roll:
24
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
wow this is tedious
|
|
The Drufle:
|
why is fly a class skill for budgie
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i guess he is a dragon
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
but not really
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i think hes ready
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Initiative Check
|
|
Initiative Roll: « d20
+ Initiative = 10 + 0 = 10 »
|
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Fortitutde Save
|
|
Fortitude Roll: « d20
+ Fortitude = 16 + 3 = 19 »
|
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Reflex Save
|
|
Reflex Roll: « d20
+ Reflex = 10 + 2 = 12 »
|
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Will Save
|
|
Will Roll: « d20
+ Will = 19 + 2 = 21 »
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
that all checks out
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Appraise Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: (GM Only)
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i think i got this
|
|
The Drufle:
|
how exactly does one edit macros
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
right click edit?
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Appraise Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: (GM Only) 25
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
so can you see that
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Appraise Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: (GM Only)
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
ok this is weird
|
|
The Drufle:
|
when i remove that g
|
|
The Drufle:
|
it removes the "d20+Appraise+IntBonus"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
it just shows the end result
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
you change the g to a t
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
thats all
|
|
The Drufle:
|
it changed how the macro shows up
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
isn't it just a number?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
btw the first one worked but the
second didn't
|
|
The Drufle:
|
yeah the second one i changed back
|
|
The Drufle:
|
when its gm-only it shows all the
individual parts
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
roll over the number
|
|
The Drufle:
|
well thats useful
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Attack!
|
Kukri
|
Tossing things
Targets: One Foe within 10 ft.
|
|
Attacks
|
|
Attack (+0)
|
vs AC
|
Damage (+0)
|
|
1d20(20)+0 = 20
|
1d4(2)+0 = 2 Piercing,Slashing
|
|
1d20(14)+0 = 14
|
1d4(3)+0 = 3 Piercing,Slashing
|
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Sleight of Hand Check
|
At-Will • Dex (Armor Check Penalty)
Roll:
(GM Only)
|
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Bluff Check
|
At-Will • Cha
Roll: (GM Only) 11
|
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Bluff Check
|
At-Will • Cha
Roll: (GM Only) 11
|
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Bluff Check
|
At-Will • Cha
Roll: (GM Only) 9
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
whoa thats weird
|
|
The Drufle:
|
if you mouse over a skill button it
tells you your overall modifier
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Diplomacy Check
|
At-Will • Cha
Roll: (GM Only) 7
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
weird because i seem to have +3 in fly
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Fly Check
|
At-Will • Dex (Armor Check Penalty)
Roll:
12
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
but not actually
|
|
The Drufle:
|
its probably your dex
|
|
The Drufle:
|
isnt your dex pretty good
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
yes
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Heal Check
|
At-Will • Wis
Roll: (GM Only) 12
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
hey watch this
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Craft Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: (GM Only) 23
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
ben is apparently the craftmaster
|
|
The Drufle:
|
wait hes an alchemist
|
|
The Drufle:
|
how does he have no ranks in arcana
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
he made bad life descisions
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i think it fits his character well
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
speaking of budgie
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
there he is
|
|
The Drufle:
|
all the skills are done
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Initiative Check
|
|
Initiative Roll: « d20
+ Initiative = 13 + 0 = 13 »
|
|
* Chanlin rolls 17
for initiative.
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Initiative Check
|
|
Initiative Roll: « d20
+ Initiative = 19 + 3 = 22 »
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
ah so the [t: makes it shorter
|
|
The Drufle:
|
it does that too
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
having no letter makes it output long
like that
|
|
Ben:
|
|
Appraise Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: (GM Only) « d20
+ Appraise + IntBonus = 2 + 4 + 3 = 9 »
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
(and no colon)
|
|
The Drufle:
|
did you see that then
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
yep
|
|
The Drufle:
|
well that was with a colon
|
Poryhedron has connected.
|
The Drufle:
|
but you know what
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
guess it doesn't matter then
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
oh hi
|
|
The Drufle:
|
screw going through that again
|
|
The Drufle:
|
im not changing all 30-odd things
|
|
The Drufle:
|
im screwing with macros that arent
yours for a change
|
|
The Drufle:
|
really though sorry about that
|
|
The Drufle:
|
they got all sorts of intertwined
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i think theyre fine now
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin thrusts at 5
with his rapier, getting a 7
to hit. If this hits, he deals 0
damage.
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Wow that was bad.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
wait no that is right
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i was worried i screwed up again
|
|
The Drufle:
|
turns out i just roll awful
|
* Chanlin attempts a raw Strength check, and
gets a 0.
|
|
Narseus:
|
hah! now it's my turn to roll 20s!
|
* Narseus uses his mighty Strength!...and gets
a 15.
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Maybe I should add a function to that
so it automatically changes damage totals less than 1 to the
minimum of 1...
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus thrusts the pointy end at grr
with the axe, getting a 17
to hit. If this hits, he deals 3
damage.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
at least that was better than streak's
negative perception check
|
|
The Drufle:
|
pory: can you do that?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus swipes the sharp end at rawr
with the axe, getting a 21
to hit. If this hits, he deals 3
damage.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
stop killing everything
|
|
The Drufle:
|
ellington still has no macros
|
|
The Drufle:
|
asema didnt really seem to care though
so
|
|
The Drufle:
|
if he wants them we can put them on but
|
|
The Drufle:
|
also i might be experimenting with new
pogs so
|
|
The Drufle:
|
they may or may not work
|
|
The Drufle:
|
does anyone happen to know how to turn
this cone off
|
ZeldaFan has connected.
|
The Drufle:
|
exactly like i just did
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
its drawn on
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
maybe we shouldn't have cones then
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i mean htat was more of a diamond
anyway
|
|
The Drufle:
|
it is slightly obnoxious
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what kinda crappy cone is this
|
|
The Drufle:
|
well actually
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Okay, I can make it so a number less
than 1 becomes 1. However, I do so at the cost of being able to
hover over the number and view the actual die roll.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i think its fine
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
where'd you buy these shitty cones???
|
|
The Drufle:
|
pory i think you should leave it then
|
|
The Drufle:
|
we can just assume theyre 1
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin thrusts at a
test dummy with his rapier, getting a 9
to hit. If this hits, he deals 2
damage.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
but yes im glad this program has layers
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
it feels...unnatural!!
|
|
The Drufle:
|
objects and backgrounds
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
why do we have initiative rolled when
i'm not on the map even and there's no one to fight
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
you should probably clear that
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin thrusts at a
second test dummy with his rapier, getting a 23
to hit. If this hits, he deals 1
damage (minimum 1).
Crit threat! If 9
also hits, Chanlin deals 0
additional damage!
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Okay, you can view the roll again, and
I added a reminder to round up to 1.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
So much for that crit...
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
i liked the good old days, when crits
were OP and just always hit on a 20 and doubled whatever you
rolled for damage
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
party members tended to die a lot from
crits but eh
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Yup?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
why is your crit damage based off of
your strength mod
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Because my weapon damage is based off
of my strength mod. Weapon Finesse only afects attack, not damage;
I'd need a certain kind of magic rapier for that.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i wasnt sure what exactly finesse
affected
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus thrusts the pointy end at bottoms
with the axe, getting a 7
to hit. If this hits, he deals 1
damage.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
my damage is just d4 is that cmpletly
wrong
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i mean maybe?
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
I can't picure an axe that deals d4
damage.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
its a boarding axe
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Your fist would deal d4 +
STRmod.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
medium axes do 1d6
|
|
The Drufle:
|
you used the small die
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
A boarding axe built for a halfling
would use a d4.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
But you'd still have STRmod to it.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
oh right
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
it's less an axe and more a hatchet
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i would still recommend never using
your axe streak
|
|
The Drufle:
|
since the damage still has a -2 mod
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
axe head is the size of an apple
|
Unresolved value "STRmod".
|
ZeldaFan:
|
its also made of plastic
|
|
The Drufle:
|
seriously streak you chose one of the
worst stats to put that 6 on
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Ooh! Ooh! Doe it squeak when you hit
thing!? XD
|
|
The Drufle:
|
its like one of those carnival axes
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus thrusts the pointy end at game
grumps with the axe, getting a 9
to hit. If this hits, he deals 10
damage.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
no wait
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
You have a STRmod of 6?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
his STRmod is -2
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
how come your 'Strength' returns your
STRmod
|
|
The Drufle:
|
also streak your attack bonus for your
axe is 4
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Yeah, I'd recommend putting your mod,
not your stat, in your token's property unless there's a separate
property for STRmod.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus thrusts the pointy end at butts
with the axe, getting a 11
to hit. If this hits, he deals 3
damage.
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus thrusts the pointy end at blargh
with the axe, getting a 11
to hit. If this hits, he deals 3
damage.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can my guy work out
|
|
The Drufle:
|
im not actually sure how you increase
stats
|
|
The Drufle:
|
now that i think about it
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can i get robot arms
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
In theory, yes, but you'd be beter
served by looking for ways to be effective in battle that don't
involve your STR.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
ill shoot people then i guess
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
ill make bullets
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Every 4 levels, we can put a new point
into any stat.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Craft Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: 5
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
thats how it works
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Also there are magic items you can
wear that boost your stats.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Craft Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: 5
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Craft Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: 16
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
how many bullets do you have right now?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
um 3 i think
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
no wait
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
2
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i shot twice
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i started with 4
|
|
The Drufle:
|
you should change that on your sheet
then
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Me, I'm planning on getting feats that
replace STR with DEX in some combat manuevers, and maybe getting
an Agile Rapier, which is a magic weapon that adds DEX instead of
STR to damage rolls.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
because i just did
|
|
The Drufle:
|
pory: very good idea
|
|
The Drufle:
|
does anyone except ellington have a
decent STR stat
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
he carries a lot of books
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
so of course shes trhe strongest
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
seriously why dont we have a tank
|
|
The Drufle:
|
streak you should remember
|
|
The Drufle:
|
that axe gives you a +2 to all climb
checks
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
where can i put that down
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
misc mod i guess
|
|
The Drufle:
|
on your gamesheet
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
My climb is 6 now
|
Edited character sheet
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Climb Check
|
At-Will • Str (Armor Check Penalty)
Roll:
22
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
wait why's it 8
|
* Narseus rolls: d20+6-3 => 15 + 6 - 3 = 18
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Why does it think your STRbonus is -3?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
good question
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
these macros are very confusing
|
* Narseus rolls: d20+6-2 => 1 + 6 - 2 = 5
* Narseus rolls: d20+6-2 => 19 + 6 - 2 = 23
|
|
Narseus:
|
maybe i could just learn the rules
instead
|
|
The Drufle:
|
you could sure
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
except i have no idea how to play this
game
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
:B
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i found your problem streak
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Climb Check
|
At-Will • Str (Armor Check Penalty)
Roll:
24[r:floor(((Strength+StrEnhancement-StrDamage)/2)-5)]0
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
nevermind what happened
|
|
The Drufle:
|
seriously what?
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices has connected.
|
|
Narseus:
|
i want to cry now
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Climb Check
|
At-Will • Str (Armor Check Penalty)
Roll:
19
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
suddenly it works again
|
|
The Drufle:
|
ok everyone is here now!
|
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices:
|
hello gaben i am here
|
|
The Drufle:
|
is he showing up
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i mean i could just have him be passed
out from the horrible magical explosion
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Make a Constitution check to attempt
to cry at will.
|
* Narseus has the hardiest Constitution
(honest!), and so rolls 16
in that.
|
|
Narseus:
|
pretty sure thats wrong
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
:B
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
¬_¬
|
* Narseus rolls: d20+1 => 16 + 1 = 17
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices:
|
wait
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
tere
|
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices:
|
arsermurr mighht still be awake
|
* Narseus has the hardiest Constitution
(honest!), and so rolls 20
in that.
|
|
Narseus:
|
use ConEnhancement instead
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus shoots at target
dummy with his pistol. Bang!! Rolled 5
to hit, to deal 2
damage.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
streak i found your problem again
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
You need to replace "Constitution" in
that with "ConBonus", I think.
|
* Narseus has the hardiest Constitution
(honest!), and so rolls 11
in that.
|
Narseus:
|
|
Fortitutde Save
|
|
Fortitude Roll: « d20
+ Fortitude = 11 + 4 = 15 »
|
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
I'd imagine the (stat)Enhancement
properties are for the magical bonuses you're getting from magic
items or spells.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
thats not where you put actual mods
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Which is why DexEnhancement was 0 just
then,
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
wait my guys enhancements are all 0 now
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
^^^^
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
they were just right a moment ago
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
oh
|
|
The Drufle:
|
they should all be 0
|
|
The Drufle:
|
those are like buffs
|
|
The Drufle:
|
the program calculates the Mods itself
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
well what're they called
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus thrusts the pointy end at aaaa
with the axe, getting a 8
to hit. If this hits, he deals 3
damage.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Ah pory is right
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
StrBonus
|
|
The Drufle:
|
zf and budgie are you both here
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
bobby_basketball_1999
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Narseus shoots at apples
with his pistol. Bang!! Rolled 22
to hit, to deal 6
damage.
|
|
Ben:
|
i TOLD you about the asema man
|
|
|
Ben:
|
i WANRED you bro
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
asema is coming
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
...that's...KINDA like being here.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
hes a coming now
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
BOBBY BASKETBALL 1999
|
|
The Drufle:
|
we'll wait a bit for him then
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
hey drufle can i make ammo then
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i need lots
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
^ ^ v v > > B A start?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i'll compromise with you
|
|
The Drufle:
|
if you agree that you didn't sleep
over the night
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i'll say you made some ammo
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can i hire a slave to sleep for me
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
bobby basketball
|
|
The Drufle:
|
thats not how it works
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
no wait im against slaves right
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what a pickle
|
|
The Drufle:
|
you are the Good character
|
|
The Drufle:
|
so id hope so
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can i roll to make ammo in my sleep
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
im real good
|
|
The Drufle:
|
whats your craft skill?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Craft Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: 17
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
its only a +1 huh
|
|
The Drufle:
|
tell you what
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
and thats the intbonus
|
|
The Drufle:
|
roll 3 of those
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Craft Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: 14
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Craft Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: 15
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
how much money do you have again?
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
i am going to put on comfortable
things and return
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
that is only as much innuendo as you
think it is
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
74
|
|
The Drufle:
|
use up 15 of that
|
|
The Drufle:
|
and you'll make 10 bullets
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
oh wait what about powder
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can you even make that
|
|
The Drufle:
|
powder comes with it
|
|
The Drufle:
|
you have a powderhorn bro
|
|
The Drufle:
|
dont need to worry
|
Asema has connected.
|
|
Narseus:
|
(its made with secret herbs and spices)
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
(only the finest gunpowder here)
|
|
The Drufle:
|
did you read the log
|
|
The Drufle:
|
on the phorums
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
zf too
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i only posted it yesterday so its fine
if you didn't
|
|
Asema:
|
I didn't, no. I didn't even know it
existed.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
its almost like you don't read the
phorums religiously
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
You visited a slightly insane sorcerer
and met a bunch of celestial servants.
|
|
Asema:
|
It is like that, because that is how
it is.
|
|
Asema:
|
Oh, well, that's cool.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
ellington also sort of blew up
|
|
The Drufle:
|
but she's ok now
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
And then some of those servants died
in an explosion, and a couple of us stared at the corpses for
hours trying to figure out what they were.
|
|
Asema:
|
Are we talking metaphorically, or
literally?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
quite literally
|
|
The Drufle:
|
yeah pory just summed up the entire
session
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
You were in a place that blew up.
|
|
Asema:
|
Well, I'll read it while we play, I
suppose.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
thats fine yes
|
|
|
Ben:
|
in addition, we spent most of the time
in a bar
|
|
Asema:
|
Well, that's hardly a surprise.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
ctrl+f 'The ground beneath' to find
the explodey tower bit
|
|
The Drufle:
|
yes also Brad
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
i return from wherever i was with just
enough money to pay off the massive bill everyone else has worked
up at the bar
|
|
The Drufle:
|
actually Eric has been doing uh
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
no zf alcohol is free for pirates shhh
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
are we all pirates now
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
don't ask why i ain't askin'!
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
we might ruin it
|
|
The Drufle:
|
only narseus gets beer for free
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
oh
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
you guys are on your own
|
|
The Drufle:
|
thats part of the buccaneering
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
actually i think only ben really drank
|
|
Asema:
|
"What a pleasant day." Ellington, too,
has worked up a sizable bill at the bar, possibly thanks to the
explosion, the encounter with celestials, and the unfortunate
company she now keeps. When she's in a daze, she's more pleasant;
the same seems true as for when she's drunk. Maybe it'll last;
that'd be nice. But the booze isn't free for her, at least.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
and boy did he drink
|
|
The Drufle:
|
yes how about we play
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"I had a dream I made bullets."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
remember our friends the pictures
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Ah, you're conscious!"
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Bullets?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"For guns!"
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"But... you actually have bullets in
your pocket."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Right there, see."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"!"
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Oh, should I let your friend out of
the restroom?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"One..two.....twelve."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
Ben wakes up in a pool of his own
vomit, thinking "why couldn't i have died during the night" and
lies back down, going into a half sleep where he dreams of sexing
sexy vishkanya men.
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
why are you going through the pockets
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Huh."
|
|
Asema:
|
"If I could have my way, I wouldn't
be." She slides another empty mug of ale away. "But I am. And I'm
going to remain that way. I have a job to do, as tedious,
difficult, boring, zany, overly-accompanied..."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
I Dream of Weenie starring Gabe Newell
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"...Well, uh. Um..Right. Okay, yes we
should release him."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Very well."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Hope he didn't choke on his vomit."
|
* Brad the Bartender removes the board that
had held the door shut
|
Asema:
|
"... drunkenly hazed, crab-infested,
unnecessarily explosive..."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
ben roll for initiative vs vomit
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"...Ben?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
!roll 1d10000
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"go away MUM"
|
|
Asema:
|
"... oh. And good morning, Chanlin."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
not exclamations
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Ben, its mornin'!"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Gotta get goin'."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"YOU'RE morning"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Thank you."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
ben pushes himself up off the floor a
little.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"did i die"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Probably not?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Maybe next time then."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Are you a sexually active young
vishkanya male"
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Try putting your hand through a wall.
See if you're intangible now."
|
|
Ellington:
|
(Here we go.)
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"I am not."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"fucking HELL"
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
he died and went to gay hell
|
|
|
Ben:
|
Ben groggily walks through the door
and into the bar area.
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
where all the attractive young men are
straight
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"I didn't think there were any
vishkanya on this continent."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Last time I checked, they all lived
up on Chronis."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
And all the ugly men are homophobes so
deep in the closet they can see Narnia?
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I didn't think there any DICKHEADS on
the continent but you sure showed me."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I don't have a hangover if anyone's
wondering, i just hit my head really hard on the bathroom floor."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"My, a little volatile still I see."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
That's...........COLD
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
like narnia
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
joke
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
sigh
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"This party has too many dicks, and
I'm not just talking about your undergarments."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Calm down already, Ben, and stay that
way."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
we are all wonderful happy people
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Are all adventuring parties this
dysfunctional?"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Yes, probably."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"They do seem to hate each other quite
a bit."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"You think THIS is dysfunctional?"
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"It tends to get smoothed over in the
retelling."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"I wouldn't know, since this was my
first." She downs another ale. "And hopefully it'll be my last."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"this is the most functional group of
people i've ever been a part of."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Well, if even a quarter of the
stories you hear are true, then yes."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Try academia. You'll see."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"By the way, I never did see your
elven friend."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Hmm."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Weaving.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
you'll show up
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Basket weaving."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Well, he's an adult. He's probably
alive?"
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"So's Ben."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
underwater basket weaving.
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Well, I'm certain he's alive. Most
rogues are quite good at that."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Adults. Bah."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Not by choice."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"I'm older than all of you."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"I mean, he's probably like 70 or
somethin'."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Elves are weird like that."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Oh really? And just how old are you,
you... thing?"
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
did you guys leave zurka alone outside
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Guy? Girl? I can't tell."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
with the dinosaur
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Pretty sure that's, like, 13 for
elves."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Old enough to be your grandparent."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
thats the bedroom
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
are they making love
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"I'm 17 human male years old."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
they're sleeping
|
|
|
Ben:
|
human male years
|
|
|
Ben:
|
is this the new radfem trend
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Relatively speaking, none of you are
much older than the other."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
compy x zurka otp
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Except your aasimar friend."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I'm 67."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
how does brad know so much about us
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"I did say relatively speaking."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
im shocked that you aren't 69
|
|
The Drufle:
|
brad is the smart cousin
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Well I did say YOU'RE A DICKHEAD."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
kevin is the racist cousin
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"So you'll be dead in a decade or two.
Good to know."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I'm gonna go outside and die."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Or now. I guess that's fine too."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Very well."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
ben just starts wandering absent
mindedly outside.
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"It's too bad, really." She's moved
onto the free peanuts. "He wasn't a bad alchemist. Had some
potential. Some brains."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Not enough, though. Not enough to
read, I bet."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We have things to do. Where's our rat
pal?"
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
his insults were beautiful
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Still in bed, last I saw."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
i've never seen someone use dickhead
in a 4 sentence extended simile before
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
he will be missed
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"He hasn't come down yet, so I assume
he's still sleeping."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Man, seems like the full party is
never here. They're always off, doing some other thing on their
own!"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"It doesn't take a practiced mind to
manage a good insult. It takes a practiced mind to come up with a
fitting insult."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
solution: tie the rat to the dinosaur
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"He wasn't a practiced mind."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"If you'd like, I can keep watch on
the ratboy for a while."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Or just lock the door."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Whichever is preferable."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"You're pretty nice, for a bartender.
I say 'nice' because adventurers aren't nice."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
lock rat inside with a hungry dinosaur
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"And really, most bartenders are going
to be retired adventurers."
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
you guys have shitty ideas
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Well, we should go look for our other
friend, so sure."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"It's just common sense. Adventurers
meet up at pubs. How do you stop an adventurer? With another
adventurer."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Naw, I inherited the place."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
You vcan see ben outside the window
pissing in the street.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"FUCK"
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Oh drat, there he goes again."
|
|
Brad the Bartender:
|
"Someone go check on him, please."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Ellington tries to check on him. She
falls out of the stool and scoops herself back up. Maybe she needs
to have more to drink.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"So, hey. Is your urine...like acidic
or something?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Not yet."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"If I go without water for a while
then it can burn grass."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"But then I have to go without water
for a while."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I'm talking a week."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Sounds alchemyish."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"It isn't."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
Ben is trying to piss his name into
the dirt.
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
bear grylls is dead in this universe,
he tried to drink ben's piss
|
|
The Drufle:
|
on a different note
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Right, I'm done."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
If Ellington would like to mess with
the dead angels, he's perfectly able to
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Ellington finally makes it outside.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
Ben zips up.
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
can i fucking show up now
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Nah, he doesn't really care enough.
Even in his inebriated state, she knows there's not much point.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Lets look for Eric."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"There he is."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We did it!"
|
|
ZeldaFan:
|
eric is lookking for you...???
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Done."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Eric steps out from behind the
wizard's tower
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Well done gang."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Angels just go back to their plane of
existence or vanish when they die. There's not really a whole lot
of satisfaction in killing them. At least the explosion did the
job for her.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Can we get exp for that
|
|
Eric:
|
"What the-"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
dang
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I've been here the entire time,
dipshits."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
In the time that nobody noticed Eric
was missing
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"All right, Eric. Maybe you're not so
bad."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Eric, I would greatly appreciate if
you would suck my dick."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"I don't know if it's because I'm
drunk, but I'm starting to appreciate your talents. You can sneak
around pretty well."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I really would."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Too bad none of you can hit as hard
as me. None of you can hit as hard as an old librarian."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I would greatly appreciate if you
would stop hitting on me."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Kind of pathetic, really."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Neither of these things will ever
happen."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
He has managed to acquire 20 yards of
rope, a grappling hook, and 50 gp
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I'm not hitting on you i think you're
a fucking scrotum"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"God DAMN"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"i wish i could've talked like this at
everyone at the university"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"I'm not hitting on you. I don't care
about all of that. Any of it. I'm asexual. That's never going to
change. Ever."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"That would've shown them."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Not you."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Oldy McOldfatpants here."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Good." She opens her mouth to say
'thanks', but doesn't.
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Well, he's gay. Too gay."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Jesus, Ben, you reek of alcohol."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"And uh..."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Something else."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"You reek of being a FATSHIT"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Look. When you get to be my age, you
meet gay people. And most of them don't hit on everything that
moves like you, Ben."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I'm a fucking VIRGIN"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"I wonder why." She say dryly.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I have to make up for lost time and
even then i wouldn't do eric"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"I wonder why." She says dryly.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Ben's last wish is to have sex before
he dies.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Because i was an ECONOMIST for most
of my life."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"I've been a librarian for most of my
life."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"When was the last time you went up to
a sexy guy in a bar, and you're like"
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
So, we need to schedule an encounter
with a rapey tentacle demon?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Oh good lord can we move on already."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Well, that depends.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
chanlin: male rape tentacle demon
|
|
The Drufle:
|
If everyone is done talking about Ben
boning everything
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Yeah, I'm good.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"So, can we look for a boat now?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Wait. Are we all here?"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Boat, tower, west district
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Don't tell me..."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
there's a few choices
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices is
disconnected.
ReverseGenocideCockatrices is
disconnected.
|
|
Eric:
|
"Where's the rat guy."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Still sleeping
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Asleep."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Give me a quick overview of what each
choice would entail, Drufle?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Bah... we'll come back for him."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
First off, you guys did come here to
get a ship to follow the bandit ship
|
|
The Drufle:
|
The one that has your books and lots
of loot
|
|
|
Eric:
|
yus
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Secondly, you could see what the fuck
Jen'qel has done with her tower, and see what's going on in there
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Finally, you could head west to the
residential district and not really do much
|
|
|
Eric:
|
I wasn't here for that whole thing,
right?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Or were you puppeting me?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Because it's a residential district
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
He was puppeting you offscreen.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Eric was "mysteriously missing" the
whole time
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"All right, Eric. I think I've got a
plan."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"So, uh..."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Getting a boat is going to be tough
without money."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"What's this thing?'
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Why does it smell like... flaming
Celestial?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Er... sorry. What was that?"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"It IS flaming celestial. Forget it.
It's useless."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"All right. Here's my plan."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"We need a boat. For that, we need
money."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"But there's an easy way to get money:
break into peoples' houses and take it. You don't need to read to
do that, and I'm betting you haven't, anyway."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Because the person who owned all
those Celestials didn't take too kindly to implied accusations of
necromancy."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Hey, I'm a LEGITIMATE BUSINESSMAN."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Anyone want to buy a watch?"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"We ought to head to the residential
district and burgle a few people, then fence what they sell for
money. All agreed?"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Had, not sell.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Tell you what- I've got a contact in
this area."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Narseus and Ben, make local knowledge
checks
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Hey, we can't just rob random
people's houses."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Or Sense motive
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Zeldafan rolls 21 on the Knowledge
(Local) check.
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Is this plan normal for Ellington, or
is she only coming up with it because she's drunk? You haven't
known her long enough to tell. His tone is the same either way.
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Yes we can. But will we? That's a
group decision."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I didn't say Eric, zf
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"If they're assholes, that's fine."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
but
|
|
|
Eric:
|
why
|
|
|
Eric:
|
;-;
|
|
The Drufle:
|
You weren't there for the appropriate
information
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"All right. Let's go door to door and
see who responds negatively to preaching. Then we can root out the
assholes."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Only Narseus and Ben were
|
|
|
Eric:
|
godammit.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Knowledge Local Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: (GM Only)
|
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
ack
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
gm only
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Try a Sense motive as well
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Let's be clear- are the assholes the
religious ones, or the athiests?"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
You got a 14 on that knowledge
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Not quite high enough
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Sense Motive Check
|
At-Will • Wis
Roll:18
|
|
|
|
Eric:
|
("Just to be clear, I'm going to rob
both. To make sure and all.")
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices has connected.
|
The Drufle:
|
Narseus happens to remember the
shopkeeper mentioning some serious town security
|
|
|
Eric:
|
>Ben wakes up from drunken coma
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Perhaps we could ask around about the
bandit ship."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Especially with the shapeshifting
Terril, burglary in this town would be quite difficult
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Some of the local sailors might hold
a grudge."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i read that as 'bandit shop'
|
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices:
|
my computer died
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i'm disappointed now
|
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices:
|
check #pokengine for more quests
|
|
|
Eric:
|
rgc: we have created a plot to rob the
locals
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
no
|
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices:
|
"Do you think most people in this town
who aren't criminals are gonna have much to say about it?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We're not robbing random people."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
WHY YES, I GET ROBBED BY BANDITS
CONSTANTLY
|
|
|
Eric:
|
THEY LIVE NEXT DOOR
|
|
|
Eric:
|
I HAVE REGISTERED A COMPLAINT WITH THE
LANDLORD
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
thats wise
|
|
|
Ben:
|
I KNW THEIR NAMES
|
|
|
Ben:
|
I BOUGHT DRUGS FROM THEM ONCE
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"I think we should check out the
docks."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
seriously though i wouldnt recommend
robbing the locals unless everybody has crazy stealth skills
|
|
The Drufle:
|
or you want to get into a tough
encounter
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Let's fucking steal their ship."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Ahem.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Let's just fucking do it."
|
* Eric attempts a Stealth check, with a result
of 16.
|
|
Eric:
|
THAT WAS ROLLING A ONE
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Not nearly high enough
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin tries to blend into the
background, getting a 18
on a Stealth check.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i'm not actually doing anything i'm
illustrating a point
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I'm talking DC 25
|
* Eric attempts a Stealth check, with a result
of 23.
|
|
Eric:
|
fucking
|
|
The Drufle:
|
The security in this town is « hard
= Invalid expression: hard. »
|
|
|
Eric:
|
hard hard
|
|
The Drufle:
|
So much for my emphasis quirk
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Excuse me, I think I musn't have been
paying sufficient attention to the conversation."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"We're doing WHAT"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
we're going to the docks because
everyone elses ideas are horrible
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
and illegal
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Yes, that thing, let's do that."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Well, you will have to agree on
something
|
|
|
Eric:
|
>looks longingly at the residential
district
|
|
The Drufle:
|
(also Eric already stole stuff do you
really need more)
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Faintly whispers "I'll be back, lovely"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We'll need to wake up Zurka, I guess."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
perception check
|
* ReverseGenocideCockatrices rolls: 1d20 => 1
|
|
Ben:
|
never mind
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin tries to pay attention to the
world around him. He gets a 18
on a Perception check.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Ben appears to be momentarily blind
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Wait, what are you looking for?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i dunno
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"oi wake up"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Narseus, the bedroom is on a second
floor
|
|
|
Ben:
|
that was supposed to be at eric
|
|
The Drufle:
|
They're not going to be hearing much
|
|
|
Ben:
|
that'd be a check of 9 which can't
beat eric
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Fine then!!
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Climb Check
|
At-Will • Str (Armor Check Penalty)
Roll:
12
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I'm going to have to say no to that
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Enchanted brick and all
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Do a quick reflex check, Narseus
|
|
|
Ben:
|
how early in the morning is it in game
time
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Up!"
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
You could just go into the inn and
then up the stairs.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i did this
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Well you also need to do the Reflex
check
|
|
The Drufle:
|
To avoid taking fall damage
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Reflex Save
|
|
Reflex Roll: « d20
+ Reflex = 8 + 8 = 16 »
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Zurka is still sleeping
|
|
The Drufle:
|
How are you going to transport him?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i was gonna leave him there.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
and come back.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
I'll slap him a little.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Zurka recoils from the slap, and
slowly sits up
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Hey, we're leaving for the docks."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
good gods he has been possessed by the
unholy drufinator
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Cmon."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
lordy
|
* Zurka nods and stands
|
|
Eric:
|
i wish i knew where these DOCKS were
|
|
|
Eric:
|
blasted fog of war
|
|
The Drufle:
|
That's a good question, really
|
|
|
Eric:
|
WE AREN'T AT WAR. I THINK.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Nobody happened to ever ask that
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin tries to pay attention to the
world around him. He gets a 11
on a Perception check.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"So... who's leading us to the docks?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Perception Check
|
At-Will • Wis
Roll: (GM Only)
|
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I haven't seen them."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Roll: (GM Only)
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can i sniff out the docks
|
|
|
Eric:
|
why
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Narseus, having a keen sense for the
sea, realizes the port is off to the east
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
yeah i fixed that
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i assume it was good
|
|
|
Eric:
|
um
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"*sniff*"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"They're that way."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"What."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I- okay whatever."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Let's just go already."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Feels like we've been standing here
for a half hour."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"One sec, He has to draw them."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
:V
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"What."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
The mighty Ao breaks out his drawing
toolbar...
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Quiet, that was non-canon."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Draw up docks? You mean like a
drawbridge?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
turn off your bloody quotation marks
then
|
|
|
Ben:
|
that reminds me of that part in maid
rpg
|
|
|
Eric:
|
this one time at maid rpg camp
|
|
|
Ben:
|
where kazue referenced kei's sex
tastes that were mentioned out of session and then the fourth wall
died
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"What's up, dock?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
and it was like "THAT'S NOT CANON
KAZUE YOU BROKE THE FUCKING UNIVERSE YOU HUGE BITCH"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
lol
|
|
|
Eric:
|
fucking kazue
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Dock's can't talk."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Yet."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Who knows, been around for 60 years
advances in magic keep popping up fucking everywhere."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Caution: Ship not to scale
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"You know when I was a kid we didn't
have potions of enlarge person?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
God is that red really mixing baddly
with the blue for anyone else
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Good lord... Imagine that."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
itsl ike, dancing
|
|
|
Eric:
|
it looks like a brick
|
|
|
Eric:
|
no it hink you need sleep
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Or that shock shield spell."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
its like those optical illusions or
something
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Hello, welcome to Port Glacier, and
I'll be your dock for today!"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
We're in Port Aurus though
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I've seen stranger, that's for sure.'
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I'm not an artist for a very good
reason
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i'm just making a joke
|
|
|
Eric:
|
eric is a wisecracker
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Tis a fine vessel."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
so if we get on the boat
|
|
|
Eric:
|
does the ship ship us?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
That's not how ships work
|
|
|
Eric:
|
is a wall of a ship called a shipping
wall
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Alright let's review."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Who can pilot a ship?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Whose boat is this?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I like to keep track of who I owe
money to."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Let's speak to the captain."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
...and then we realize none of us has
any ranks in Profession(sailor). Not even Narseus.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Speak to the- oh god you have to do
this the hard way don't you."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i thought i did or something
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Narseus does have sailor ranks
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Ah. Cool.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Part of being a buccaneer, you see
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Fine. We COULD have just held the
pilot hostage and made him navigate."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Do I know the ship?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Would probably be a lot cheaper."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
who has the dexterity to be crow's nest
|
|
|
Ben:
|
eric?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Pilot?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"anyway..."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I'm finding the pog for him
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
move yer butts
|
|
|
Ben:
|
can someone turn off that fucking red
and white rec- oh it's gone
|
|
|
Ben:
|
can someone get rid of that health bar
while they're at it does everyone else see that
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
I see one on Eric.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
I only see one on me.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I see health bars on everyone except
Chanlin
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Wow. This guy looks like exactly the
sort of person who has no need of a seagoing vessel.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
hhhhhhhhhhhh
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Except now he does
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Because I gave him one
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
is that a statue
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I think it's client based
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
oh the fins okay
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Quick, who has any planar knowledge?
|
|
|
Ben:
|
ellington
|
|
|
Ben:
|
chanlin
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin thinks back on the various
tidbits he's overheard in his travels. He gets a 18
on a Knowledge check.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Knowledge Planes Check
|
At-Will • Int
Roll: (GM Only) 2
|
|
|
|
Eric:
|
his name is Makar??
|
* ReverseGenocideCockatrices rolls: 1d20 => 5
|
|
Eric:
|
but that is clearly Rule 63 Princess
Ruto
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Chanlin's is high enough
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Chanlin recognizes the pilot as an
Undine
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
man how does he know about planes they
haven't been made yet
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
chanlin is a brainiac
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Bards are just that awesome.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
that water chick from secret of mana
|
|
|
Eric:
|
??
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Yeah, bards know pretty much everything
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
that boss i fought in tales of eternia
earlier?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
man undine gets around
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Protip: I have no ranks in
Know(planes). But being a Bard means I can make any Knowledge
check untrained, and I get a bonus.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
wait
|
|
|
Ben:
|
the undine are that species from star
trek
|
|
|
Eric:
|
undine is a series slut
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i guess
|
|
|
Ben:
|
species 8472
|
|
|
Eric:
|
sleeps around with all the
fantasy/scifi serieses
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Hello, there!"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Shit, is he talking to us?"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"A good morning to you all!"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I don't see any good fellows..."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Yup."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Just us."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"What brings you to these docks?"
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Well, Narseus is decent, and the rest
of us look decent from a distance."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
my charismas shit someone else talk to
him
|
|
|
Ben:
|
i have charisma
|
|
|
Ben:
|
believe it or not
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i'm not actually saying this because
i'm basically hiding in the back right now
|
|
|
Eric:
|
hoping he won't recognize me but
taking no chances
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Well, we were wanting to ask about a
bandit ship that's been in the area."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
you never know who knows someone you
robbed
|
|
Maakor:
|
"A bandit ship you say?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
i have 17 charisma
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Brad did say something a bandit ship
earlier."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
try hitting on maakor
|
|
|
Ben:
|
ben hits on no one
|
|
|
Eric:
|
if you roll high enough on cha maybe
you can turn him gay
|
|
Maakor:
|
"It's heading north I think."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
fuck brad, man
|
|
|
Eric:
|
what a douche.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
The word "Undine" comes from the Greek
word for "water", which relates to the nature of the Undine's
realm, "fluidic space".
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
wait so how'd this ship have our stuff
again
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Have they taken something from you
gentlemen?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
so are the bartenders in this game
like the nurse joys in pokemon
|
|
|
Ben:
|
it didn't
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
They intercepted a shipment Ellington
was waiting for.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
they're all identical and related
|
|
The Drufle:
|
It only has Ellington's books
|
|
|
Ben:
|
oh
|
|
The Drufle:
|
The rest of you basically want treasure
|
|
|
Ben:
|
i thought we just wanted to steal
their ship to get narseus ship
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Aye, it intercepted a trade ship and
took something we want."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
(im speaking pirate guys)
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Ellington nods in affirmation.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
add a 'matey'
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
(also i have no idea where im going
with this conversation)
|
|
Maakor:
|
"My, that's awful!"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I'd be heading off soon, then."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
ask him for a lift
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Don't want them getting too far."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Are you headed after them?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Do they have something of yours as
well, sir?"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Me? Of course not."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I have no qualms with them."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We were hoping to find a ship that
could take us to them."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Ah, my apologies, it was merely
wishful thinking."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"You... don't have a ship?"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"And you live on Cosma?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Our transport has... departed without
us."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"In a matter of speaking."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"I used to be a crewmember on the Ship
« shitwhatwasitcalledagain
= Invalid expression: shitwhatwasitcalledagain. »."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
fff
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Sparthian, boy
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
(psst, Sparthian, dude.)
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
im bad at names
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Just think of cutting off King
Leonidas with a yelled greeting.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
SPART"hi!"AN!
|
|
|
Ben:
|
he is greeting ian
|
|
|
Ben:
|
SPART-hi ian
|
|
Maakor:
|
"A Sparthian you say!"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Very interesting."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"I guess. Do you know of any ships
that would help us out?"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Oh, I'm sure I could help you out."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
now ben should attempt to seduce him
and get him on our side
|
|
|
Eric:
|
^^^
|
|
The Drufle:
|
You can answer however you like
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what should i say
|
|
The Drufle:
|
You're the character!
|
|
|
Ben:
|
ben is not clever enough to come up
with a plan
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"These are... some ships, that sure
are just sitting in the water, aren't they?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i meant them! these people
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Actually, let me try something
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Who all has actually been paying
attention to the conversation
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
well i'd hope most of us
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
eric has
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
ellington
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i am back yes
|
|
The Drufle:
|
If that's true, then everyone roll a
Sense Motive check
|
|
|
Eric:
|
after 10 seconds
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin considers the likely motives
of this person. He gets a 5
on a Sense Motive check.
|
* Eric attempts to discern the TRUE MEANING of
that statement. (26)
|
|
Ben:
|
i have
|
* ReverseGenocideCockatrices rolls: 1d20 => 19
|
|
Eric:
|
i detect strange obsession with girls
in green hats
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
wheres that button
|
|
|
Ben:
|
21
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Sense Motive Check
|
At-Will • Wis
Roll:8
|
|
|
|
Eric:
|
ben detects latent homosexuality
|
|
|
Eric:
|
narseus detects that this man IS NOT
HUMAN!!
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Ellington can roll, too
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
!!!
|
|
The Drufle:
|
So far Ben and Eric have noticed the
secret thing
|
|
|
Ben:
|
what secret thing
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
you should know
|
|
|
Eric:
|
it's a secret.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Well, I'm waiting to see if Asema is
still here
|
|
|
Ben:
|
i haven't been told it ye
|
|
|
Ben:
|
t
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Maakor, who just said "I'm sure I can
help you out", is about to say "Which way did you come in?"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I forget are there secret tells in
this program?
|
|
|
Ben:
|
i think but just do it over irc to be
sure to be sure
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
You might have to resort to sending
them a Pokengine PM.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
creep
|
|
|
Ben:
|
chanlin there are irc pms
|
|
The Drufle:
|
no, i think i figured it out
|
|
|
Ben:
|
we are all irc
|
|
|
Eric:
|
oh god
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i feel violated
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"The drufle whispers: hello"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
phorum is unnecessary here
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
I am still here. I also can't scroll
up while everyone is typing, for the record, so.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
PHORUM FREE ZONE
|
|
|
Ben:
|
asema see those speech bubbles beside
the chat form
|
|
|
Ben:
|
that turns off scroll lock
|
|
|
Ben:
|
when you click them
|
|
The Drufle:
|
also screw you budgie for having such
a long name
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
also it locks if you click and drag
the scroll bar
|
|
|
Ben:
|
eat of my arse
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
using your wheel doesn't lock it
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
which is just weird
|
* Eric frowns
* Eric frowns DEEPLY. WITH EYEBROWS.
|
|
Ben:
|
I saw the pokengine forums (phorums)
on my phone. Why does everyone act like they're on Robot Chicken.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
from the pf forums
|
|
|
Ben:
|
that's getting into my phorum sig
|
* Eric realizes how deeply his eyebrows are
furrowed! Shit!
* Eric attempts to bluff to the unsuspecting
shmuck, with a result of 9.
|
|
Narseus:
|
you know being able to pause a
conversation like this seems useful
|
|
|
Ben:
|
Ben takes narseus aside and whispers
to him.
|
* Eric eyebrows are still furrowed!!
|
|
Ben:
|
HOW DO I WHISPER
|
|
The Drufle:
|
you do /w username message
|
|
The Drufle:
|
dont literally whisper
|
|
The Drufle:
|
because we want your messages on the
log
|
|
|
Ben:
|
what's streak's username
|
* Eric nudges Chanlin
|
|
Narseus:
|
its streak
|
|
The Drufle:
|
it's just Narseus
|
|
|
Ben:
|
well whatever i won't bother with it
|
|
|
Eric:
|
("Am I the only one who doesn't trust
this guy in the slightest?")
|
|
|
Ben:
|
("Did you see him smirk when you
mentioned the Sparthian?")
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Yeah, use parentheses for
not-actually-whisper whispers
|
|
|
Ben:
|
("He's got something going on here.")
|
|
|
Eric:
|
someones gotta talk to him we cant all
fucking whisper
|
|
|
Ben:
|
("He's trying to trick us into
something.")
|
|
|
Eric:
|
ellington should probably tlak to him
and zurka
|
|
|
Ben:
|
yes we can
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Is everything alright, gentlemen?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
cuz i pulled chanlin aside
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Team huddle, sir, regular adventuring
party protocol, carry on."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Everything is... all right. As all
right as it gets with this bunch. Bah."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I shall man the ship until you make
your decision."
|
* Maakor smiles at the party and walks back to
the front of the boat
|
|
Ben:
|
so we huddle
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Yeah, this seems shifty. How many
options do we really have, though?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I say we kill him and take the boat."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
("I agree.")
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"He looks pretty evil, so it'll be
okay."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Probably."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
("We'll be the coolest dudes who ever
lived.")
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Undines are generally true neutral!
|
|
|
Ben:
|
("And we'll have a ship.")
|
|
|
Eric:
|
thank you game master
|
|
The Drufle:
|
You're welcome!
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Notice how he didn't give a shit
about helping us and was mostly just making fun of us?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
("They're only going to go up in value
you know.")
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Up until Narseus mentioned Sparthian."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Did you see him smirk eric?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Like the sun at midnight."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"When Narseus said about the
Sparthian."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Jesus christ his fish-teeth things
shone."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Fucking blinding."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Now the only problem is throwing him
overboard probably won't work that well."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Killing him is a fine plan. We ought
to do that."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
everyone is in this huddle by the way
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Well... there are 6 of us and one of
him."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Yes, everyone is talking to each other
now
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"If he doesn't have backup, what can
he do?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"WHAT DOES ZURKA THINk????"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
To point out something in the rules:
Bull Rush will let us dunk him overboard, if we want to.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"We get him to sail us wherever, and
then we kill him."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Note that he can do the same to us.
Don't stand near the edges.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
...he just vanished off the boat
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I could prepare a potion of reduce
person to make things easier for us if someone can trick him into
drinking it."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
As an Undine, he can swim much faster
than you could imagine
|
|
|
Eric:
|
perception check to notice this?
|
* Eric makes a Perception check, with a result
of 9.
|
|
Ben:
|
"But a problem is, what if he has
crew?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i got no idea what hapen
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Or if he springs a trap on us."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"We need to do it now."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Everyone else roll perception
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"That's my primary concern."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
I'll keep tlaking.
|
* ReverseGenocideCockatrices rolls: 1d20 => 9
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin's attentiveness is put to the
test. He gets a 4
on a Perception check.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Perception Check
|
At-Will • Wis
Roll: (GM Only) 0
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Fucking hell you guys
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
sigh
|
|
|
Eric:
|
>_0
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"We all need to go in there now, with
a brilliant plan, and kill him as hard as we can."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Yes? No? Yes."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Ellington, help them out here
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"No?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Yes."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"How about we EXPLODE THE BOAT?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"On the safe side."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"The boat THAT WE NEED?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"So he can't trap us."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Jen'qel would have many explosives
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Right, damn."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
If that's the goal
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"How about we just go find another
boat?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
are there other boats
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"And come back later if we haven't
found anything."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
A Perception check?
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"What if, I prepare a potion of vocal
alteration? Does anyone know if there's a particular voice Undine
trust, must obey, etc?"
|
* Asema rolls: 1d20+1 => 3 + 1 = 4
|
|
Eric:
|
"I don't want to talk to this guy on
his terms."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Ellington cannot help.
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Well, we can just kill him."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Nobody rolled above a 10
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Are we all agreed? Muder time?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Frankly, I don't know what Undine
are, really."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Drufle: you didn't roll for Zurka
|
|
Zurka:
|
|
Perception Check
|
At-Will • Wis
Roll: « d20
+ Perception + WisBonus = 1 + 3 + 0 = 4 »
|
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
All right then. It's destiny.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Absolutely nobody noticed that Maakor
seems to have vanished into thin air
|
|
|
Eric:
|
wat.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Alright then. Let's go look around
and come back later?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Agreed?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"There are no other boats."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Let's just get in there now like the
coolest bad bottoms who ever lived!"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"What are you talking about. there are
definitely... Oh."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
There are currently no other boats at
dock
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i thought he just went into a cabin or
something
|
|
The Drufle:
|
(well he did)
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
is he a ghost
|
|
The Drufle:
|
(but you guys fucked up your rolls so
bad nobody noticed)
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Alright then let's go up onto the
boat and play it cool."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Hey, Mister whatsyourface-"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Where'd he go?"
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"He said he'd be manning the boat."
|
* Eric has realized that Makar is no longer
standing 5 feet away form them!
|
|
Eric:
|
"Oh right yeah."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Maakor, but yes
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Maybe he's in the...uh...place? Where
thr captain has the wheel-thing."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
("Aren't ships' wheels on the deck?")
|
|
|
Eric:
|
("You know, outside?")
|
|
|
Eric:
|
There is no one visible on the deck huh
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
I knew that of course
|
|
|
Eric:
|
whatever
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Okay, let's talk a bit more then."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
There is currently nobody on the deck
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Just to be clear, are we all in favor
of plan kill-on-arrival?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"We force him to sail us to the
bandits and kill him there?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I feel like a premature killing would
be a mistake."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"No!"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We can't assume he's evil because of
a smirk."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"He has a TRAP for us."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Can any of us sail a ship???"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Quite easily, in fact
|
|
|
Eric:
|
shh
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"i am a pirate"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
the pcs are talking
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Didn't you just come of age?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"17 years is long enough to learn."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"They let kids sail the ships?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Isn't that some kinda... safety
violation?"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"I don't care when we kill him, but it
probably has to be done. And Ben's right: he probably has a trap,
too."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Whatever, back on track."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"if I were giving a ship to this group
of adventurers, I know what I'd do: sink it. So that ought to be
the plan. Kill him so he can't do that."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Do we barge in guns blazing or talk
first, shoot later?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Well, does anyone have an amazingly
clever plan?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Look, how about I go on and ask him
to come out so we can negotiate a fee for the trip."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Then I'll lure him out here."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"And you guys can shoot him!"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"And kill him in broad daylight?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"With your projectiles."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Wouldn't it be better to kill him on
the ship?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"This town is completely empty except
for us."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"If Narseus is confident he can handle
this ship, we could just board and try to sail off."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
hey can i throw potions as projectiles
and if they impact it has the effect on the dude it impacts on
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Seriously it's just us, Brad, and
this guy."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We should just confront him now.
Intimidate him, maybe."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Ben: you can't throw potions
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"Yes but Brad won't forget us easily."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"It's just him on that ship."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I'll bring him out, Narseus, and you
guys talk to him."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Well you could, but it wouldn't do
anything
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"I threw up all over his bar, we
caused an explosion, and he knows us through Kevin."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I just don't think we should go into
his ship."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"You know, all at once."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Okay how about we send in ELITE
STRIKE FORCE?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"There's no one else on there, though."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"What does that mean?"
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"ELITE STRIKE FORCE i mean"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Ben, Ellington, and Narseus go on,
and we'll cover you from out here."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"In case of TRAPS."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"You three being the best close-range
fighters of course."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"You think WE are teh elite strike
force?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"And Ben."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"So I'm part of the 'elite strike
force'. That's at once reassuring and saddening to know. All
right. Let's do this."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"The boy's barely 12, I'm an aging
economist and Ellington is a librarian."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"I got beat up by a crab yesterday."
|
* Eric is not going on that fucking ship.
|
|
Ben:
|
"No, you know who looks more elite to
me?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Let's lure some crabs onto the ship."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
"This boy here," Ben says, jabbing at
Eric "With all his sneaking and trickery. Why, I'm certain with
your skills you could sneaky right up in front of him and steal
his nose hairs without him noticing, correct?"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Oh, I wouldn't recommend that
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Whoa, hey, if I go on to talk to this
guy, how will I sneak in through the portholes and attack him from
behind??"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Undines have high skills in commanding
aquatic creatures
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Oh yes, brilliant. And have them kill
us all mid-trip."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
This boat doesn't have portholes??
|
|
|
Eric:
|
oh okay
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Portholes open, right?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"It...it was a joke!"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"That's what they do right?"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Kind of full of cannon, though
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Look, Ben, I don't expect you to know
this, being elderly and all, but sneaky people tend to thrive on
stealth."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i feel like we're going to die or
something stupid if we actually do anything
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Walking up to the guy who expects us
to walk up to him isn't exactly sneaky."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
lets just stand here forever
|
|
|
Ben:
|
i am going on hiatus
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
its safe
|
|
|
Eric:
|
meanwhile, makar sits impatiently
wondering what we've been doing for an hour
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Pretty much, yes
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Makar yes
|
|
|
Ben:
|
be back in lif=ke half an hour or so
mandated driving lessons
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"He's probably just some asshole
looking to turn a quick profit by holding us hostage or something."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Eric could sneak on board while we go
talk to him."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Yes I have been saying this already."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I like this idea."
|
|
|
Ben:
|
asema can be me for the time being
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
did he just say man-dated
|
|
The Drufle:
|
What's the party going to do because
you've been discussing it for like 20 realtime minutes
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
eric sneaks on board, we go speak to
the nice man about his intentions
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Sounds fine to me
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
we're going to die aren't we
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Agreed.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
make it hapen
|
|
|
Eric:
|
you need to go on board first.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
:|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
The grey board is the way on
|
|
|
Eric:
|
ben must be the cover guard outside so
who else is going on
|
|
The Drufle:
|
And not through the aft wall, Chanlin
|
|
|
Eric:
|
we'lll leave ben and zurka
|
|
|
Eric:
|
that works right
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
This ship is fuckin' tiny.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
oh
|
|
The Drufle:
|
This is the inside
|
|
|
Eric:
|
um.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
dude i didn't go downstairs though??
|
|
|
Eric:
|
*retcon*
|
|
The Drufle:
|
That didn't actually happen
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i look for ADDITIONAL PYLONS i mean
WAYS DOWN
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Narseus, Chanlin, and Ellington see
Maakor at the front of the boat
|
|
|
Eric:
|
perception?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
He's literally right there
|
|
|
Eric:
|
alternate routes downstairs
|
|
The Drufle:
|
about 25 feet in front
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i'm trying to sneak behind him
|
|
|
Eric:
|
remember.
|
* Eric makes a Perception check, with a result
of 9.
|
|
Eric:
|
well there's the portholes still
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Why hello, gentlemen!"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
okay i'm taking 20 on this
|
|
The Drufle:
|
A climb check?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
searching the ship's deck.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
All your ship are belong to us.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
I'm searching the ship for any
possible way downstairs.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
so how should this conversation go
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Taking 20 takes quite a while, you
realize
|
|
|
Eric:
|
By taking 20 I'm volunteering to give
them a long time to talk.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Yes.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
First I whisper downstairs ("STALL")
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
maybe we could ask him about himself
|
|
|
Eric:
|
kind of a loud whisper but they're at
the bototm of the ladder
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
does he like long walks on the beach
|
|
The Drufle:
|
You will eventually find a hatch and
the very front of the ship, below the statue on the front
|
|
Maakor:
|
"My, you're quiet ones."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Okay so at some point I find a second
ladder beneath a hatch which leads to... exactly where he is.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Godammit.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
whatever you guys talky talk thing.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
It's slightly behind him
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Used as an emergency escape
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Have you and your friends made a
decision?"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"... speaking of which, weren't there
six of you?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We wanted some info on yourself,
first."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"We've decided it's worth our while to
discuss a partnership. What sort of help are you willing to offer
us?"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Me? My name is Maakor, and I've been
a trade sailor here for fifteen years."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I deal in various rarities, and help
clean up the mess that the Janni makes."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"As for help, I'm willing to sail the
lot of you after this bandit ship."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"For free, of course. Wouldn't want a
Rainbeard coming after me for charging their heir!"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"How'd you know I was a Rainbeard?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
!!
|
|
Maakor:
|
"You did say you were a Sparthian,
yes? The majority of human Sparthians are Rainbeards."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
is that true
|
|
Maakor:
|
"From what I've heard from Brad, at
least."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"The majority of human Sparthians
aren't heirs, though."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
The Rainbeard family does make up a
large portion of the Sparthian crew
|
|
Maakor:
|
"He is the only one young enough to be
the heir, though."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"My parents would want me to reward
you in some way. I'm sure the pirates have treasure, we'd be happy
to share that."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We aren't barbarians, after all."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Oh, I couldn't accept any sort of
reward from you."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I mean, think of the prestige I'd get
from having a Rainbeard on board!"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
wotta creep
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
But the others lead, because Ellington
hates talking.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"So, have those bandits attacked
anyone you know?"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Oh no, they tend to stay away from
these parts."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"What with Jen'qel and Terril around?"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I've never really thought about it."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"It seems strange that you'd help us
out with them being no danger to you. It could be dangerous, you
know."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Well, anything to help a Sparthian!"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Wish we could ask Brad about this guy
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin considers the likely motives
of this person. He gets a 6
on a Sense Motive check.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
WHY DO I SUCK AT THIS
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Sense Motive Check
|
At-Will • Wis
Roll:18
|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Chanlin apparently has the social
skills of a rock
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Ellington slaps Narseus on the
shoulder. In a forward direction.
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Our comrades are just making some
last minute preparations."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Narseus, on the other hand
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Is quite suspicious
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
thanks for that
|
The Drufle whispers: Narseus
seems to think that Maakor may be trying to get the party out to sea on
purpose
|
The Drufle:
|
Also I notice Ben and Zurka have
walked on board
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I don't see your elven friend,
though."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Where has he run off to?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
did i fidn the bloody hatch yet
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Ugh, he's never on time."
|
* Eric is pissing off the side of the boat
|
The Drufle:
|
It has actually been long enough for
Eric to find the hatch, yes
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Eric finds a small lock on the hatch
|
|
|
Eric:
|
..."Goddammit"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I never said it would be open
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Look if they thought it was clear
enough to come onboard
|
|
|
Eric:
|
why didn't they tell me to just go
downstairs
|
|
|
Eric:
|
instead of all standing around the
base of the ladder awkwardly
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Don't ask me, ask them
|
|
|
Eric:
|
bloody idiots
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what ladder
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Eric, roll a quick stealth check
|
|
The Drufle:
|
The wood on the hatch isn't as stable
as the rest of the ship
|
* Eric attempts a Stealth check, with a result
of 29.
|
|
Eric:
|
:|
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Yes fine Maakor doesn't hear you
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Where's the rest of our party?
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Enraptured" in conversation.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
yes it feels that way
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Well, nobody has actually responded to
Maakor
|
|
The Drufle:
|
He asked where Eric was and nobody
actually told him
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
we're all standing still, drooling
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i said he's always late
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Exactly.
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
And Budgie is absent.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Wasn't he one of the ones making
last-minute preparations?"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Well I hope he hurries up, the sooner
we leave the better."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"Pretty sure he was doing some
preparing, yeah."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
should i just confront him
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i'm peeking downstairs at this point
|
|
|
Eric:
|
wondering what the fuck is happening
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i'm really pissed off because nobody
gave me a signal
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Does Eric have any skill in picking
locks?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i'm still waiting for someone to shoot
something
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
THis could just be my Nat-1 Sense
Motive talking, but I'd be fine with taking Maakor at face value
until he betrays us, at which ppoint we can kick his ass.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
don't think so offhand
|
|
|
Eric:
|
that was pretty much my plan too
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
where's his crew?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i assume he has one.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
but then this is a trade ship
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Eric has a +10 to disable device
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
is it actually a trade ship? am i able
to tell
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Well, he did say it was
|
|
The Drufle:
|
So yes, you are
|
|
The Drufle:
|
There's a hatch in the lower right
that you assume leads to the brig
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Wherever things are kept
|
|
The Drufle:
|
So are we fighting Maakor or is Eric
getting on to set sail?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
yeah, like hundreds of people with
swords
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i can hear em! shoutin and swearin
|
ReverseGenocideCockatrices is
disconnected.
ReverseGenocideCockatrices is
disconnected.
|
|
Eric:
|
disable device can pick locks now?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
okay then.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
whatever
|
|
The Drufle:
|
What skill would do it if not?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i looked beneath the deck. i said.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
and nobody answered to tell me what
you were doing.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i like stuck my head down there just
enough to see in
|
|
|
Eric:
|
ideally so makar cant see me
|
|
|
Eric:
|
nobody ansewred though
|
|
|
Eric:
|
so i have my head halfway into the
door and i'm just blinking constantly for 10 minutes wondering
what the fuck i'm looking at
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Well they can't really talk to you
|
|
|
Eric:
|
EYELASH EYELASH
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Without giving away your position
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i am lookign to see if people are
standing around or anything
|
|
|
Eric:
|
can I SEE PEOPLE??
|
|
The Drufle:
|
They're just standing there
|
|
|
Eric:
|
ARE THEY NOT KILLING EACH OTHER
|
|
|
Eric:
|
OKAY
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Yes, we're talking with Maakor.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
I WALK IN THEN
|
|
The Drufle:
|
They're not, at the moment
|
* Eric subtly tries to slip into the back of
the crowd
|
The Drufle:
|
Just move your pog over then
|
* Eric attempts a Stealth check, with a result
of 13.
|
|
Eric:
|
"Uh, hello there!"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"There's the last of you."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Just uh, clearing the old bladder,
and whatnot!"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Now, would you all like to set sail?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Don't want to make a bathroom stop,
right?"
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Where's your crew?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
>nobody understands this joke
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"I think we're ready."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"My crew is in the margins of the
ship."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"They tend to the mechanics of the
ship, keeping everything clean and whatnot."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
oh man is this a STEAMBOAT
|
|
|
Eric:
|
??
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
gotta clean the wind gears
|
|
The Drufle:
|
It's more like replacing wood and
other things
|
|
The Drufle:
|
When they get damaged
|
|
The Drufle:
|
So is the party heading off or is a
battle to ensue?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Right, this ship looks pretty normal.
They couldn't possibly be armed.
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Ellington doesn't feel quite as intent
on murder now. What about the rest of the party?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
ben was the one eager on murder
|
|
|
Eric:
|
whatever lets sail off into the sunset
and call it a night
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
I think we should not murder.
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Sure, but Budgie isn't here and I get
off work very shortly, so we'd need to take a break, I think.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
If we'd like to reconvene in a half
hour or so, that's fine
|
|
|
Eric:
|
lol
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Let's keep murder an option but not be
too hasty about it.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
my fanfictions are calling
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
It's 4am here, I'd like 6am to be when
we finish, at most.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
I could use something to eat, come to
think of it.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
but its friday so whatever
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
All right, then. I guess now is a good
time to take a break.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
So come back at 4:30 GMT?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
lets set sail and find out if he's
evil already
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
go on pull the cloth off him
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
He's true neutral. Racial stereotypes
are always right.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
is he an evil skeleton
|
|
The Drufle:
|
We can just set sail and see what
happens before we take a break
|
|
The Drufle:
|
How's that sound?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
sure.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
fine
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Maakor has asked that the party stay
to the rear, so as not to interfere with the crew during the
journey
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i refuse to stay in his rear
|
|
|
Eric:
|
oh to the rear
|
|
|
Eric:
|
okay.
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Ellington stays near the rear. But not
at the rear.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
let's all bunch up under the trap.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
:I
|
* Eric makes a Perception check, with a result
of 16.
|
The Drufle:
|
There are no visible tripwires,
pressure plates, or anything near the back
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i'm trying to play it casual but i'm
meticulously looking at all the sides of this ship
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i don't trust it at all
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Nonono, we're bunching up OVER the
trap. *nudges trap door to hold*
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Cmon, he didn't know some party would
turn up and want on his ship
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
not enough to set a trap
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what does this happen every day
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Well, I think that's far enough."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
sigh.
|
* Maakor turns to the party and steps forward
* Eric cracks knuckles
|
|
Eric:
|
(casually)
|
|
Maakor:
|
"How obvious was I?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Well, it wasn't-"
|
|
Maakor:
|
"The elf was being very suspicious, I
can tell."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Alright it was pretty terrible but we
didn't have much choice."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"Elves are usually suspicious, to be
fair."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Suppose it doesn't matter much now,
does it."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"If you've got something planned, you
can drop it now."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Hey!"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"Otherwise, you're obviously dead."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Oh, is that so?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"What's that supposed to mean!?"
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"It is so."
|
* Eric casualsidestep
|
Maakor:
|
"Well, I never have had an aasimar
yet."
|
* Eric reflex save
|
The Drufle:
|
Eric, make a reflex check
|
|
|
Eric:
|
wait fuck i didnt macro it?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
ugghhhh
|
|
|
Eric:
|
hold on
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I have all of your sheets open, don't
bother
|
* ZeldaFan rolls: d20+8 => 11 + 8 = 19
|
The Drufle:
|
Eric manages to dodge the tentacle
that bursts out through a hole in the wall
|
|
|
Eric:
|
GODAMMIT WHO SAID THE TENTACLE RAPE
DEMON LINE
|
|
|
Eric:
|
WHICH ONE OF YOU FUCKERS BROUGHT THIS
UPON US
|
|
The Drufle:
|
To be fair, I had this planned long
before anyone said that
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Also it was you, zf
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I'm quite sure
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
*holds up hand* But remember, it's not
a proper reference until a tentacle goes up Ben's poopchute.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
no i said it after pory
|
|
|
Eric:
|
ben drops pants and begins fondly
regarding tentacle
|
|
The Drufle:
|
A variety of aquatic creatures drop
from the ceiling and walls, surrounding the party
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Well then.
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Would you like to reconsider your
statement, aasimar?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
I shoot Makar in the face.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
While he's monologuing.
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I'm willing ot make this quite
painless."
|
* Eric aims carefully and fires his Crossbow,
with a 8 to hit and 7 damage.
|
|
Eric:
|
I hit a squid.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Fucknuts."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Maakor easily dodges the arrow,
stepping a bit to the right
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
"You're giving us a chance to
surrender? Shocking."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I thought elves were good archers."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Oh no, I'm not offering surrender."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"I'm offering a slightly less painful
death."
|
|
Maakor:
|
"Except the human, of course."
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Ellington ignores his condescension.
"Shocking... not unlike me."
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
"You're trying to defeat an
adventuring party. There will be nothing the slightest bit
painless about this."
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
"We've beaten crabs before. These are
just uglier crabs."
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Actually wait a second
|
|
The Drufle:
|
did someone mention squids
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"Hey guys, remember plan "drop in
behind him and cut his throat"?"
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"I miss that plan."
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Drufle: the idea was i hit one of the
'various aquatic creatures' instead of him.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Can I move away from the guy next to me
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Doesn't really matter
|
|
|
Eric:
|
little babby squid or something falls
in and dies instantly
|
|
|
Eric:
|
woops my bad
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Grindylows, being part octopus,
fucking hate any mention of squid
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i didn't actually say it.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
also thanks 4 spoilerz
|
|
|
Eric:
|
who incorrectly identified him as
Undine with a 19 knowledge check
|
|
|
Eric:
|
that seems... unreasonable
|
|
The Drufle:
|
He still is an Undine
|
|
|
Eric:
|
is he disguised
|
|
|
Eric:
|
wait
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Also fine I won't attack you
|
|
|
Eric:
|
where is the grindylow then
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Really wanted to do that
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
below you
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
both
|
|
|
Ellington:
|
Okay, I actually have to go home now,
so that'll be two people out of commission for a little while.
|
|
|
Eric:
|
what's this unnamed thing
|
|
|
Eric:
|
is this the grindylow
|
|
The Drufle:
|
The names are in the fog of war aren't
they
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Its name is covered by the fog of war.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Ok let's break for now
|
|
|
Eric:
|
Yep.
|
Asema is disconnected.
|
|
Narseus:
|
I can't see it's nametag, it's too
foggy!
|
|
|
Eric:
|
"in the walls of the ship" what the
fuck
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Fight will begin in 30 minutes!
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
I feel like, somehow, being a
sociopathic murderer would make things a lot easier.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
In most cases, yes
|
* Poryhedron is now Away
|
|
Narseus:
|
i bet this dude is the one that set
the crabs on us
|
|
|
Eric:
|
inb4 budgie returns laughing about how
we didn't listen to him
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
so he's clearly done this before then
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
this isn't very neutral at all
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what a butt
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I only said that Undines were
generally neutral
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
How'd the monsters get in here, again?
|
|
|
Eric:
|
throught he roof
|
|
|
Eric:
|
like the coolaid man
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
didn't something smash through the wall
|
|
The Drufle:
|
A tentacle, yes
|
|
The Drufle:
|
That was a grindylow trying to grab
Eric and temporarily take him out of commission
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Well that isn't alarming at all.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
So there's a hole in the wall?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Grindylows are very grabby, you see
|
|
The Drufle:
|
By hole I mean a devised point in the
structure where things can come through
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can we just push em back out
|
|
The Drufle:
|
You are now very sure that this boat
is literally made to ambush people
|
|
The Drufle:
|
You could try, I supopse
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
not me im weak
|
|
The Drufle:
|
They'd just come back in through a
different hole though
|
|
The Drufle:
|
There's quite a few
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
oh man i just noticed the fuath
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what is that thing
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
crab king?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
He's actually a form of gremlin
|
|
The Drufle:
|
And fun fact: it's pronounced "foo-ah"
|
|
The Drufle:
|
For some reason
|
|
The Drufle:
|
He's basically Maakor's right-hand man
|
|
|
Eric:
|
when we return: initiative rolling
|
|
|
Eric:
|
tell us this shit after the fight man!!
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
drufle be honest
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
are we done
|
|
|
Eric:
|
dont tempt me to abuse ooc knowledge
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
forever
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Yeah I think I'll do these guys right
now
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
is this it
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I don't think so
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I sure hope not
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I mean this is only a total CR of like
2.5
|
|
The Drufle:
|
And the crabs were 2 I think
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
the network producers aren't gonna be
happy if we die here
|
|
The Drufle:
|
So only a bit harder
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
who do think is paying for all this
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
these special effects
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
the sets
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
the actors
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
the sound effects
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
which are all just coconuts banging
together
|
|
|
Eric:
|
we had to shoot this scene 3 times
already
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i kept missing my entrance
|
|
|
Eric:
|
and ben kept forgetting his lines
|
|
|
Eric:
|
and falling asleep in the corner
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I can imagine
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
there was the take when the grindylow
got a little too...grabby
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Speaking of which should I be
controlling Zurka?
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i don't know how control a witch
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I probably should then
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
unless its a lady one with guns on her
feet
|
* The Drufle rolls: d20+1 => 6 + 1 = 7
|
The Drufle:
|
Maakor is really tired from all that
sailing i see
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
|
Initiative Check
|
|
Initiative Roll: « d20
+ Initiative = 13 + 3 = 16 »
|
|
|
Zurka:
|
|
Initiative Check
|
|
Initiative Roll: « d20
+ Initiative = 17 + 9 = 26 »
|
|
* Eric rolls 16 for initiative.
|
The Drufle:
|
i get the feeling that Zurka will
almost always be going first
|
* The Drufle rolls: d20+2 => 14 + 2 = 16
* The Drufle rolls: d20+2 => 6 + 2 = 8
|
|
Eric:
|
ok im going to watch game grumps
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
so how tough're these fuckers anyway
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
hp wise
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I should put that on them yes
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Undines are quite a bit weaker than i
expected
|
* The Drufle rolls: 1d8 => 5
|
The Drufle:
|
He has more than one level
|
* The Drufle rolls: 2d8 => 7
|
The Drufle:
|
dammit game fine
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
Wonder what happens if he dies.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I try to make him some sort of
all-knowing badass and he gets seven hp
|
|
The Drufle:
|
I wonder too!
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
A bunch of animals without their leader
|
* The Drufle rolls: d20+5 => 14 + 5 = 19
* The Drufle rolls: d20+5 => 8 + 5 = 13
|
|
Narseus:
|
Did you know i can do up to 9 damage
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i wont
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
obviously
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can i actually
|
* The Drufle rolls: d20+5 => 9 + 5 = 14
Ellington has received initiative.
|
The Drufle:
|
Don't mind that
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
guns get dexbonus right
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
like swords get strbonus
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
and thats on damage or attack, or both?
|
|
The Drufle:
|
for ranged attacks
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
okay thats correct then
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
crud the guy next to me moves before
me huh
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
damned supercrabs
|
* Chanlin rolls 20
for initiative.
|
|
Narseus:
|
;D
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Oh hes back already
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Yup.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Poor Maakor is going to go last, isn't
he
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
I'm going to shoot him.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
He had so many cool abilities to use!
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
I might not kill him right away
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
or ill miss
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i think i will miss probably
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what do i have to roll to hit again
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
something to do with ac
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
d20 + BAB + DOXmod needs to meet or
beat your target's AC.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
DEXmod
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
You're going after me, so you'll have
a +1 to that.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
(The attack and damage get a +1 bonus
from Chanlin's Inspire Courage effect.)
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
I feel really couragous.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
His AC is 17
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
You should. I'm playing "The Balled of
the Cool GUys Who Are Quite Courageous And Also Easily Kill Crabs
And Other Sea Life".
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Oh I need to roll health for the
monsters
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
I'd need to roll a 12 or above to hit
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i like that ballad
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
it was a hit
|
* The Drufle rolls: 1d6+4 => 6 + 4 = 10
|
|
Narseus:
|
do you think songs roll hit dice to
see if they're a hit or not
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
its 4am and thats funny to me
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
The singer rolls a Perform check.
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Chanlin puts his storytelling skill to
use weaving a fascinating tale. He gets a 28
on a Perform(oratory) check.
|
* The Drufle rolls: 1d8+1 => 6 + 1 = 7
* The Drufle rolls: 1d8+1 => 8 + 1 = 9
* The Drufle rolls: 2d8+4 => 11 + 4 = 15
* The Drufle rolls: 2d8+4 => 8 + 4 = 12
|
The Drufle:
|
reefclaws may have been a bad idea
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can they smell the scent of their dead
cousins on me
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
maybe they'll get scared
|
|
The Drufle:
|
They're not crabs, so no
|
|
The Drufle:
|
Reefclaws are half eel, half lobster
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
well thats just silly
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what are wizards doing these days
|
|
The Drufle:
|
You'd be amazed at the ridiculous
amount of combined aquatic creatures there are
|
|
The Drufle:
|
theres a seal/shark
|
|
The Drufle:
|
a human/shark
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
reminds me of that pc game
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
you could combine animals
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
and then fight with them
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
what was it called
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i loved that game
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
it was awesome
|
|
The Drufle:
|
impossible creatures
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
yes that looks very familiar to me
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
man you could combine anything it was
amazing at the time
|
|
The Drufle:
|
apparently they were planning on an
xbox version
|
|
The Drufle:
|
but it was different
|
|
The Drufle:
|
instead of combining animals, you
could combine their dna into you
|
|
The Drufle:
|
and it was more of a platformer than
an rts
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
hrm
|
|
The Drufle:
|
but it got cancelled because the
original did poorly
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
probably for the best??
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i mean that sounds lame as a sequel
|
|
|
Eric:
|
i have been told to go the fuck to
sleep
|
|
|
Eric:
|
in the form of
|
|
|
Eric:
|
'go the fuck to sleep'
|
ZeldaFan is disconnected.
|
|
Narseus:
|
wait what
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
zf???
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
can you hear me???
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
zf the supercrabs???
|
|
The Drufle:
|
its only quarter to midnight come on
|
|
The Drufle:
|
we might have to just do the fight
next week
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
didn't sound like he wanted to go?
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Yeah, it's looking that way. 
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
that was pretty damn sudden
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
D:
|
|
The Drufle:
|
that was directed more to his parents
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
well, i'm fine waiting, i guess
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
this session was a whole lotta talking
though
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i mean dang
|
|
The Drufle:
|
most of it was literally you guys not
talking
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
my character might have high CHA but i
do not
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
:B
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Players whose characters have better
mental stats than the player ought to be ale to make stat checks
to see if their character can handle a situation better than they
can.
|
|
The Drufle:
|
hey if you want to
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
nah, it's fine
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i was mostly not speaking because i
assume time freezes when we're thinking like that
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
talking is totally a free action anyway
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i mean these supercrabs haven't moved
an inch during a long evil monologue
|
|
The Drufle:
|
well theyre waiting for orders
|
|
The Drufle:
|
also that grindylow was going to
attack eric
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
damn
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
im sure you could find it online but
im too tired
|
|
The Drufle:
|
understandable
|
|
The Drufle:
|
i think we'll just call it a night
|
|
|
Chanlin:
|
Well, we got a lot of useful
initiative rolling done.
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
maakor is just messing up
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
i bet he ends up killing us all somehow
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
like, personally
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
and slowly
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
we're jsut gonna fail every roll
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
we'll literally cry
|
|
|
Narseus:
|
its gonna be a terrible day
|